Yesterday, to put it frankly, was torturous. I was literally at my wits end. Not to be stuck on a topic but kindergarten has really tap danced its way across my sweet little Bella's nerves. This kid is overwhelmed and emotionally spent every single day. I KNOW this is normal because I have had loads of feedback and complaints of this phenomenon occurring all over the world. Apparently, just 1 more thing those damn parenting books left out is that Kindergarten makes your little one certifiable. After surviving bed time last night all I wanted to do is talk to someone...anyone..particularly the Big Guy. I called him, ranting and raving at the lunacy that I had just endured. In retrospect, I guess I sounded like I was looking for an answer like a heat seeking missile. But I wasn't. I know the problem, I know that its semi normal. I simply needed my sounding board to bounce things off of..for someone to hear me, especially since , I , suspect, spent the entire day talking to myself. I know this because my girls heard absolutely nothing I had said or they chose to ignore me. I'm giving them the benefit of the doubt and going with they didn't hear me. But the Big Guy, who is again out of town, felt he needed to give me an answer. I can't imagine how he feels with me calling out of sorts and him being there. I know he feels guilty but its not his fault. I just needed him to listen. He got frustrated at his own lack of useful suggestions and I became overwhelmed...like "I'm drowning in this craziness" overwhelmed. I became silent. I had to go. I cried..long and hard, alone in my living room with my living room shitting dog staring at me ( probably wondering why I thought I was allowed to have a break down, after all she had things to chew up and shit out. Oh, did I forget to mention that now the dog is mad at me and decided the other day to add insult to injury and tag in with the kids. To do her part, she waited until I had a vomiting migraine, the kids were out of control and then she chose her time; the bitch shit on my floor! Oh yeah, anybody want a slightly used 11 year old boxer? I joke. Or do I? ). I felt pretty ridiculous because if you have a breakdown and there is no one there to console you or feel guilty, did it really happen? And if so, what was the purpose? Anyways, after I was all cried out, I called the Big Guy out and I told him that all I needed was a sounding board, not a solution and I was rational because I had already had my breakdown with my only witness, that living room shitting dog of mine. I told him( the Big Guy not he LR shitting dog) that through my monumentally awful shitty day, I had gained some great parenting knowledge. I finally understood why some Mom's go crazy and drive their car full of kids off a bridge somewhere. I would never do that; but I so understood how someone could be pushed to the brink of sanity by screaming kids. When they work together they are a powerful force to reckon with. I also now completely understand why some animals eat their young! I heard the Big Guy gasp and sigh at the same time. I hope I didn't scare him too badly. Or maybe I do.
Today was a new day. Today, I made a decision that we were not going to have another day like yesterday. I don't think any of us could mentally survive another one of those days consecutively. I changed my attitude, I changed my reactions, I breathed deeply, and today was so much better than yesterday. I actually felt like we were, before this affliction of kindergarten came through and ravished us all. I got the girls up and had clothes and breakfast ready to go. We made it to school just in time for the bell. I was very laid back. No freaking out about being late. No not me, that wasn't the bigger picture. It was small.
When I picked Bella up from school, no arguing. I refused to be sucked into a verbal assault by an overtired 5 year old. She got bored with trying and moved on! One more small victory. We came home to refuel before running any more errands. Normally,we would have just went from school but I knew lunch needed to be provided or I would have tired /hungry meltdowns in PUBLIC! Never a good mix.One more small victory...high five for Mommy! After lunch we hit the library to pick up some movies and books. I was quick. I told them before we even got out of the car, 2 movies and 2 books! They listened! And to make it even better, I found this amazing find for $1!
They were so good, we went to the grocery store and (wait for it) they didn't even pester me for one of those God awful ginormous car/cart contraptions that I usually run into everything and everyone in the store.I kept them in line with the promise of some bike riding when we got home. Oh, Thank you God for small mercies. We were in and out, with our handy list, within 45 minutes. By this time, I was getting pretty afraid of what was to come. So we got the hell out of Dodge while the getting was good.
We got home and I kept my promise.
I set the timer on my phone and when it was done everyone put their own bikes back into the garage, without incident.Woot Woot! Then I let them take long bubble baths.I got them dressed and let them watch one of their library movies. I made some sloppy Joes from an awesome recipe I found and some homemade granola while they watched their movie.We enjoyed a semi peaceful dinner ( there as some mutiny when they discovered that I tried to sneak green peppers in on them in the Joes; I removed the peppers and all was remedied). Then teeth were brushed and kids were put to bed. We had a small issue with someone not wanting to go to bed because her Lilo and Stitch movie was "Right at the good part Mommy". I gave a little and we all survived the day with no crying, no screaming, and no thoughts of the bridge or eating my young. Here's to tomorrow, may it be even better than today!It really is all about enjoying the small things in life. Now, if you'll excuse me, I am going to go happy dance my ass all the way to bed!Happy Mothering!