tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-60275110722643136622024-03-12T21:47:58.431-04:00The TRUTH about MotherhoodUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger472125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6027511072264313662.post-90644969666774248912011-01-03T10:53:00.002-05:002011-01-03T13:28:41.363-05:00Resolving to Incite a Revolution in 2011<span style="font-size: large;">I am way past the point of making resolutions.After all, what the hell is a resolution anyways, nothing more than an empty promise, a flimsy threat at the most.Nope this year, I am declaring war. I'm inciting a revolution.I am resigning myself to a little shock and awe!</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">*</span><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: x-large;">No MORE Cheating!</span> </span><span style="font-size: large;">You heard me. I don't mean that I'm cheating on the Big Guy, never! I mean cheating on diets, cheating myself out of life, cheating myself short on opportunities, cheating my girls out of my complete attention and devotion.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">*</span><span style="font-size: x-large;">Embracing Exhaustion! </span><span style="font-size: large;">Oh yeah, I am about to make it my mission to exhaust every single iota of potential that these bones have in them. No more sitting on the sidelines letting life happen to me or waiting for things to be done for me, this broad is grabbing life by the balls and making him my bitch. I am going to work this potential so hard, its not going to know which way is up. As the old cheer goes, "Be aggressive..B*EE* EE Agressive!" I'm about to be the change I want to see in my world!</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">*</span><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: x-large;">Organization, Organization, Location!</span> I am a planner, a scheduler, a write it down on paper and DOER! Life seems to have gotten out of control.I don't mean a little bit off kilter, I mean it has spun right the hell off its axis.Well, </span><span style="font-size: large;">NO MORE! Hey, life! Guess what? </span><span style="font-size: large;">I AM IN CHARGE..NOT YOU! So, I'm putting pen to paper ( yes, I'm old school like that sometimes) and I'm making a schedule. I'm waking up earlier, getting more sleep, not rushing through life because I've planned accordingly, and ( because I am still a bit reckless) I'm even allowing copious amounts of free time for spontaneity.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">*</span><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: x-large;">Love Hard, Love often!</span> I am making sure that the Big Guy and the girls know how much I love them and how important they are to me. I'm not referring to telling them, speaking the words. I do this already, several times a day. In fact, I've told the girls ( constantly) since birth "Guess what? I have a secret.Want to know what it is?" They used to get all excited, their eyes like saucers and ask"Yes, Mommy. What is it?" My answer, I'd bend down and whisper in their tiny ear ," I Love you more than anything." Now, they just give me a sheepish smile and say, "What is it Mommy? Tell me!" But more than saying the words, I want to show them with my thoughts and actions.I want to be present in every moment with these family and friends that I have been blessed to be surrounded by in my life. I want them to know in their heart that when I say "I love you" it means..forever, for always, for good, for bad, for ups, for downs, for skinny, for fat, for Always. When they speak, I want them to know I am listening and that what they say matters to me. No more decorum.I am loving on my littles, the Big Guy, my family and friends with an embarrassing amount of exuberance. I want them to feel it to their core...I love them.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: x-large;">*Prioritize, Perspective, and Present</span> The only way to get it all done, in conjunction with my handy schedule, I have to prioritize what's really important to me and my family. This depends on my perspective. I am choosing to utilize my own perspective ..finally. I am not considering all the outside factors, aside from my girls. I'm also willfully choosing to see life as ALWAYS half full and at my dispense because, in reality, it is. My only limitations have been those I've set upon myself. No more! Last but not least, I'm living in the moment. I'm embracing every stinking moment as it happens. I'm not planning for next year, next week, tomorrow...I'm living in the now..RIGHT NOW,with my girls and the Big Guy. I want to enjoy the small things of my life as they happen, not in 20 years in retrospect as a memory. I want to feel the full effect of my life. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">*</span><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: x-large;">Forgiveness </span>I am forgiving myself for not being perfect. I am not the perfect wife. I am not the perfect Mom. I am not the perfect friend or daughter.I don't have the perfect body. I don't have the perfect house. My temper leaves something to be desired. I over extend myself. I expect too much from myself and others. I fall short, in a lot of ways. But that doesn't mean that my efforts do not have merit. I am hitting reset for everyone I know. I'm passing out forgiveness like kool aid at a Jonestown party. NO more Mommy guilt, no more fatty McFatty guilt, no more I'm not the perfect wife.My house is disheveled. My kids aren't perfect.No more, I wish I was <a href="http://motherhoodthetruth.blogspot.com/2010/03/damn-you-bree-van-de-kamp.html">Bree Van De Kamp</a> bullshit. From this moment forward, I am going to try my best at every endeavor that I choose to undertake with my priority being excelling at being a good example of a the kind of woman I want my daughters to see me as. I will never be perfect, and that is perfectly acceptable, as long as I am living my life as the best me.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">*</span><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: x-large;">Incite a Revolution</span> I'm initiating a change in my way of life. I am actively taking steps to become the person that I want to be.That woman who lives inside of me and has been too afraid for a long time to take a gamble.The woman who, even though I hate to admit this, I have realized has been so afraid of failure that I have let it stave off success. No More! No more excuses. I'm not afraid of failure anymore.If I fall, I will just pick myself up and try, try again!But today, I am inciting a revolution between the version of myself that I've let myself get comfortable with and the woman I know I can be. I'm starting by setting fire to excuses and self doubt and I'm marching forward with self confidence. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">What have you resolved to incite revolution about in your New Year? How are you going to go about succeeding? Happiest of New Years! Hang on to your hats ladies, it's going to be battle of epic proportions but everything worth having in this life is worth fighting for!</span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com20tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6027511072264313662.post-27135069191862743232010-12-31T13:30:00.002-05:002010-12-31T14:21:54.630-05:00What a Difference a Decade makesAs I sit here on the precipice of a new decade, I can't help but reflect on the past 10 years. Ten years ago, I was celebrating my second New Year's eve as a married woman; the still newly dubbed Mrs. Beck. We were living in North Carolina for the first time ever. I was hundreds of miles from everything and every one I had ever known. My life was changing in leaps and bounds. I was in my mid twenties, starting a new graduate program at a new university, in a new state. It may as well have been a new part of the world. I was working in a new field, doing a job that I had never planned on doing. It was liberating and it was frightening. I was learning new things about myself daily.Up to that point in my life, I hadn't really been living so much as traveling from point A to point B. Suddenly, I was left alone with just the Big Guy and my thoughts in my world. That was the year that I really began to define myself and learn to be not who everyone thought I should be but to become who I really was on the inside, free of any paradigm. It was exhilarating to discover the me buried under the sister, the daughter, the friend. The world was my oyster.Possibilities were endless and all I needed to do was figure out what I wanted to do with all this new found liberation from expectation.<br />
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Fast forward, 4 New Years later and we are celebrating our 5th year of marriage in our first home in Tennessee. We were 7 months pregnant with or <a href="http://motherhoodthetruth.blogspot.com/2010/12/life-is-what-happens-when-you-are-busy.html">planning to plan</a> baby, Bella. My belly way burgeoning, my heart was bursting and I just knew in my heart that something astonishing was right around the corner in our lives.You know that feeling of excitement and fear that takes hold of you and then catapults you at lightening speed head first smack dab into the middle of your life? As you stand there looking down the barrel of the impending changes, your heart is racing but you are happy to be hurled. You take one last deep breath, step up to your turn and embrace it with a fervor, whatever may come. That is exactly where I was sitting on that New Years Eve. I had no concept what being a Mommy would feel like, what it would entail and the depth and breadth in which it would genuinely change my existence...the very way that I moved through the world.<br />
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Fast forward, 2 New Years later,the Big Guy, our then 18 month old Bella and myself sit in our second home... in Indiana. Again, I am sitting with a burgeoning belly and a bursting heart. We are expecting our second child and all is right in the world. What more could I want out of this world? My cup of life overflowed with love. At that moment, I felt like I had everything that I had ever imagined I could need in my life. People spend their entire lives searching for the kind of relationship that the Big Guy and I have together.To me our girls were the living, breathing manifestation of all that love and respect that we have for one another. I sat there, fat and happy to be exactly in that moment.<br />
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Fast forward, 3 New Years later, the Big Guy and I are sitting in corporate housing with our two beautiful little girls in <a href="http://motherhoodthetruth.blogspot.com/2010/02/to-have-good-friend-youve-got-to-be.html">Virginia</a> where we had recently moved. Life was chaotic and crazy and spinning a bit out of control.We had just started to adjust to the fact that we were again away from all family and friends with two very small children. We had spent the fall forging a new life for ourselves. Redefining borders and creating relationships with strangers, changing our perspectives and embracing change. We were blessed to have the opportunity to hit reboot even if it was forced upon us. Once again I was forced to take a hard look at myself and decide who I wanted to be in this world.It started an evolution revolution within myself. I began to realize that I had to be the change that I wanted to see in my world.I could either sit back and let life happen to me or I could jump up and make things happen for me.Last New Year set me up for becoming the person I never knew that I always wanted to be. It's hard to feel sorry for yourself, when you are blessed with so much in life. I only needed the moment of quiet change to realize it.<br />
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Tonight, a decade of New Years is coming to an end, a <a href="http://motherhoodthetruth.blogspot.com/2010/11/nestled-in-between-rock-and-hardplace.html">lifetime of change </a>has taken place in my life in the last year alone. We, the girls and I, are living back in Indiana.The Big Guy <a href="http://motherhoodthetruth.blogspot.com/2010/07/goodbye-to-goodbyes.html">no longer lives at home,</a> due to job location. Luckily for me, we are actually more in love than that first New Years so long ago. He is my anchor in life, he keeps me grounded when I am about to <a href="http://motherhoodthetruth.blogspot.com/2010/06/stoop.html">fly off the deep end of reality</a>. I'm his balloon, I lift him up when our circumstances pull him down. Our babies are now 3 and 5. I'm looking at them, as I type, and I can't even believe it myself. They are so beautiful and perfect in the face of such craziness. The last year has not been easy but I think its made us all stronger. We were downsized, relocated, then the Big Guy has been away for the new job.Our lives have been in limbo and hell concurrently but you know what? It's not impossible but its just the hardest thing I've ever done. This year, as difficult and testing as it has been, as much as I would not wish this kind of situation on anyone, it has made me once again aware of my blessings in triplicate. It's given me an opportunity to focus on who I am.Who I want to be in the world. It has made me a stronger person, a more devoted wife, a more aware mother.I've made a lot of mistakes but I've also made a lot of hard decisions that have made our family better.I am a little worn for the wear but now I am focused. I am heading into the next decade with a renewed sense of self, a new determination to succeed, and a greater appreciation for the life and people that I have been blessed with in my life. What a difference a decade has made. I have come full circle and been made better in the journey.Next New year, I will be sitting someplace new but still with these 3 amazing people that I have been fortunate enough to spend the rest of my life with.<br />
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How was your past decade?What was the highest and lowest point?What will you do differently in the next decade? Happiest of New Years to you all and your families.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com17tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6027511072264313662.post-64056467052067152402010-12-30T10:30:00.000-05:002010-12-30T10:29:23.762-05:00Nutrisystem Update, week 8~Hooray You: New You Revolution<object height="390" width="640"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/9YTCkmJa1OU?hl=en&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/9YTCkmJa1OU?hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="640" height="390"></embed></object><br />
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<div style="text-align: center;"><b>HOORAY YOU! THE NUTRISYSTEM “NEW YOU REVOLUTION” BRINGS FRESH FROZEN FOOD TO ALL</b></div><b><span style="color: black; font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN" style="color: black; font-size: 15.5pt; font-weight: bold;"></span></span></b> <br />
<div align="center" class="ecxMsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><b><span style="color: black; font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: large;"><span lang="EN" style="color: black; font-size: 15.5pt; font-weight: bold;"></span></span></b></div><div class="ecxMsoNormal"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://photobucket.com/" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;" target="_blank"><img alt="Photobucket" border="0" src="http://i97.photobucket.com/albums/l212/dacruzbe/image002-1.jpg" /></a></div></div><div class="ecxMsoNormal" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% white; line-height: 15.6pt; margin-bottom: 7.5pt;"><span style="color: black; font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: x-small;"><span lang="EN" style="color: black; font-size: 11pt;">Nutrisystem, Inc. (NASDAQ: NTRI), the number one home delivery weight loss company, announced today that it is revamping its programs by incorporating its highest scoring, best tasting fresh frozen gourmet foods into all of its weight loss plans at the lowest price in the Company’s history. Part of Nutrisystem’s <b><span style="font-weight: bold;">“Hooray You! New You Revolution”</span></b> initiative is to empower and celebrate the success of its members, and with these significant changes it will make Nutrisystem® weight loss programs more accessible to a wider audience than ever before. The new Nutrisystem 28-day program will now include one-third frozen foods and two-thirds of pantry foods. Additionally, the program previously cost $399 per month and it will now cost $299, including an additional free week of pantry foods, a gourmet money back guarantee and free shipping. The New Nutrisystem® Select® Plan, available only in the Continental U.S., can be purchased by calling the Nutrisystem hotline 1-800-891-3215 or logging onto <a href="http://www.nutrisystem.com/" target="_blank">www.nutrisystem.com</a>.</span></span></div><div class="ecxMsoNormal" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% white; line-height: 15.6pt; margin-bottom: 7.5pt;"><span style="color: black; font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: x-small;"><span lang="EN" style="color: black; font-size: 11pt;">“The launch of this program is a groundbreaking accomplishment for our team. Nutrisystem has now found a way to do what no other weight loss company had been able to do – and that is to provide home delivery of fresh-frozen foods at the lowest price in the category,” said Joe Redling, Chairman and CEO of Nutrisystem. “We spent the better part of the last year conducting extensive category research and, of course, listening to our own customers. The message we heard was clear and simple – they want great tasting, high quality foods at a low price with no gimmicks and no complicated plans. Through this system wide revamp I’m truly pleased that we’ll now be providing just that.”</span></span></div><div class="ecxMsoNormal" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% white; line-height: 15.6pt; margin-bottom: 7.5pt;"><span style="color: black; font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: x-small;"><span lang="EN" style="color: black; font-size: 11pt;">Added Redling, “This winter season, many weight loss companies are launching new programs. We applaud those who are working hard in the fight to combat the national obesity epidemic but warn consumers to be wary of the newest fads and magic pill solutions. At Nutrisystem, our program is backed by the science of the low Glycemic Index and at a low price. We believe the solution to a healthier lifestyle can be just that simple.”</span></span></div><div class="ecxMsoNormal" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% white; margin-bottom: 1.5pt;"><b><u><span style="color: black; font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: medium;"><span lang="EN" style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt; font-weight: bold;">The New Nutrisystem Select</span></span></u></b></div><div class="ecxMsoNormal" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% white; line-height: 15.6pt; margin-bottom: 7.5pt;"><span style="color: black; font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: x-small;"><span lang="EN" style="color: black; font-size: 11pt;">“Nutrisystem Select” offers gourmet, fresh frozen cuisine to every customer, delivered right to their doorstep. As part of the revamp of its food programs, Nutrisystem is adding new items to its menu including: Garden Vegetable Omelet, Margherita Pizza, Roasted Vegetable Pizza, Asian Style Beef, Roasted Turkey Medallions, and Orange Crème Bar.</span></span></div><div class="ecxMsoNormal" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% white; line-height: 15.6pt; margin-bottom: 7.5pt;"><span style="color: black; font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: x-small;"><span lang="EN" style="color: black; font-size: 11pt;">The New Nutrisystem Select program includes:</span></span></div><div class="ecxMsoNormal" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% white; margin-bottom: 7.5pt; margin-left: 22.5pt; margin-right: 22.5pt; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="color: black; font-family: Symbol; font-size: x-small;"><span lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Symbol; font-size: 10pt;">·<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: xx-small;"><span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span></span><span style="color: black; font-size: x-small;"><span lang="EN" style="color: black; font-size: 11pt;">Free 24 hour, seven days a week phone access to nutrition support and counseling from the Nutrisystem team of registered dieticians as well as weight loss counselors </span></span></div><div class="ecxMsoNormal" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% white; margin-bottom: 7.5pt; margin-left: 22.5pt; margin-right: 22.5pt; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="color: black; font-family: Symbol; font-size: x-small;"><span lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Symbol; font-size: 10pt;">·<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: xx-small;"><span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span></span><span style="color: black; font-size: x-small;"><span lang="EN" style="color: black; font-size: 11pt;">Free membership and access to online tools, tips and community support on Nutrisystem.com </span></span></div><div class="ecxMsoNormal" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% white; margin-bottom: 7.5pt; margin-left: 22.5pt; margin-right: 22.5pt; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="color: black; font-family: Symbol; font-size: x-small;"><span lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Symbol; font-size: 10pt;">·<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: xx-small;"><span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span></span><span style="color: black; font-size: x-small;"><span lang="EN" style="color: black; font-size: 11pt;">Savings of hundreds of dollars compared to other weight loss programs </span></span></div><div class="ecxMsoNormal" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% white; margin-bottom: 7.5pt; margin-left: 22.5pt; margin-right: 22.5pt; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="color: black; font-family: Symbol; font-size: x-small;"><span lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Symbol; font-size: 10pt;">·<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: xx-small;"><span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span></span><span style="color: black; font-size: x-small;"><span lang="EN" style="color: black; font-size: 11pt;">New – Gourmet Guarantee – money back if not completely satisfied </span></span></div><div class="ecxMsoNormal" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% white; margin-bottom: 7.5pt; margin-left: 22.5pt; margin-right: 22.5pt; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="color: black; font-family: Symbol; font-size: x-small;"><span lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Symbol; font-size: 10pt;">·<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: xx-small;"><span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span></span><span style="color: black; font-size: x-small;"><span lang="EN" style="color: black; font-size: 11pt;">New – First seven days free </span></span></div><div class="ecxMsoNormal" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% white; margin-bottom: 7.5pt; margin-left: 22.5pt; margin-right: 22.5pt; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="color: black; font-family: Symbol; font-size: x-small;"><span lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Symbol; font-size: 10pt;">·<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: xx-small;"><span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span></span><span style="color: black; font-size: x-small;"><span lang="EN" style="color: black; font-size: 11pt;">New – Transition plans to help keep you on track after reaching your goal weight </span></span></div><div class="ecxMsoNormal" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% white; margin-bottom: 7.5pt; margin-left: 22.5pt; margin-right: 22.5pt; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="color: black; font-family: Symbol; font-size: x-small;"><span lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: Symbol; font-size: 10pt;">·<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: xx-small;"><span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span></span><span style="color: black; font-size: x-small;"><span lang="EN" style="color: black; font-size: 11pt;">Available for Women, Men, Silver and people with type 2 diabetes who want to lose weight via Nutrisystem D </span></span></div><div class="ecxMsoNormal" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% white; 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Our focus remains to support a sensible and sustainable approach to eating.”</span></span></div><div class="ecxMsoNormal" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% white; line-height: 15.6pt; margin-bottom: 7.5pt;"><span style="color: black; font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: x-small;"><span lang="EN" style="color: black; font-size: 11pt;">To order the new Nutrisystem, visit <a href="http://www.nutrisystem.com/" target="_blank">www.Nutrisystem.com</a> or call 1-800-891-3215.</span></span></div><div class="ecxMsoNormal" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% white; line-height: 15.6pt; margin-bottom: 7.5pt;"><br />
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<span style="font-size: xx-small;">DISCLOSURE: Nutrisystem is providing their program to me free of charge in exchange for my participation in the Nutrisystem Nation Blogging Program and weekly updates. I am not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed in this post are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255</span><br />
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</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6027511072264313662.post-17326426875928670282010-12-29T10:50:00.000-05:002010-12-29T10:48:44.490-05:00The OrnamentThis Christmas morning was a little different than our previous Christmases have been. The entire year has been a little "different", since the Big Guy has been working away from home. It's been a difficult transition to go from having a very hands on partner/father to one who is no longer here on a daily basis. Due to all this upheaval and unpredictability of the past few months, I felt like the holidays crept up on me and knocked me over the head with a boulder. Nothing has felt right with the Big Guy gone. This situation has caused finances to be off because of maintaining separate residences, I didn't have the time I normally would have had to go shopping and what not because I had no one here to watch the girls, the ebb and flow of our very existence has been out of whack this past year. So, it was no surprise that this Christmas morning, things felt peculiar.<br />
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I woke up and I knew I wasn't going to be opening any gifts,that was no big deal, I had accepted that fact. Normally, I have an abundance of gifts to open. But that's OK. Don't feel sorry for me. The Big Guy bought me a really spectacular diamond band that I've been wanting ( last month) and my Mom bought me my<a href="http://www.blogher.com/life-what-happens-when-you%E2%80%99re-busy-making-plans"> BlogHer</a> ticket, so believe me I didn't need anything to open. And, to be completely honest, having the Big Guy home for 2 weeks consecutively is the most precious gift that I could ever have asked for or wanted.If you could see the excitement in the girls eyes knowing that when they wake up in the morning, their Daddy would be there.You'd know, I want for nothing. If you could know the peace it brings my heart to have the Big Guy within arms reach, you would realize that the gift of his presence was priceless to all of us.<br />
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After the girls opened all of their gifts, and the Big Guy had opened the gifts that the girls had picked out for him, there was 1 little gift that we had all forgotten about. That is all of us,with the exception of Bella, had forgotten about. Bella makes a leap under the tree and says in her most sheepish little big girl voice,"Mommy, you forgot about YOUR gift!" I was stumped because I knew, for a fact, the Big Guy was told not to buy me anything (living apart strains the finances). Bella produced the sweetest, plain white bakery bag with a homemade card on it. I had forgotten about the "gift" she had made for me on the last day of school before the break. The gift that had been sitting under the tree for a week and I had been given strict orders could not be opened until Christmas morning. Bella:"Open it,Mommy"as she placed it into my hands. I followed her instructions, as I opened that simple white bakery bag and inside was the most beautiful ( to me) handmade ornament that I have ever laid my gaze upon. At that moment, sitting in front of the Christmas tree with my girls and the Big Guy next to me, I realized that I had the most amazing gift in the world..I had a all the love my heart could hold and then I cried. I wept for the happiness of being blessed with so much love and I wept with sadness knowing that we've lost almost an entire year together.After all was said and done, that sweet little angel ornament in the plain white bakery bag is the most meaningful gift I have ever received. Thank you Bella and Gabi for coming into my world and putting things into perspective!!Mommy loves you!<br />
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What's the most meaningful gift that you've received?Unknownnoreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6027511072264313662.post-90254559653878123302010-12-27T13:30:00.000-05:002010-12-27T11:33:43.287-05:00Is Mommy Who you are or what you do?<style>
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<div class="MsoNormal"> In most instances, people are not what they do, but in Motherhood the marriage of the two is as seamless as the Separation of Church and state in Rome. In no other aspect of our lives does one single event of our life forever define who we are to the outside world as does becoming a Mother. It not only instantaneously changes how we view ourselves, how our family and friends view us; it changes the way we are viewed by the entire world. It’s not like being a Republican or Democrat, you can’t hide that you are a Mommy. Besides being recognizable by the obvious changes of Motherhood; your body, the tethering of a small human being to your side for 18+ years, and chronic food/spit/shit/ or urine on your clothing. There are also the not so obvious changes, the slow softening around the edges, the small appendage roaming the world freely (your heart), and the ever present elation filled with sadness and extreme exhaustion readily seen on most, if not all, Mommies faces.</div><div class="MsoNormal"> The moment we become a <i>Mother </i>in our minds, whether it be at conception, labor, the moment we hold that newborn, or at that moment they first call out for us, we are changed forever. Never again to be that same woman we were before that moment, at least not entirely. However, where is the line between being their Mommy and the woman independent of the child? We become so consumed with the task at hand (being said Mommy) that we sometimes forget about the woman behind the miracle.</div><div class="MsoNormal"> I sometimes look at my girls and I am in awe that I have anything to do with molding such amazing little humans; little lone that I am the sole reason they are on this earth. In those instances, I feel as if I am capable of accomplishing almost anything. I feel as if my potential is limitless. Then I catch a glimpse of myself in my ponytail and yoga pants and I feel like an incredible failure. How can someone who can do so many amazing things for and with her children have such little regard for herself? I am barely recognizable to myself in the mirror. I have become so immersed in their lives, their dreams and goals that I have forgotten about my own. Well, obviously I have not entirely forgotten, since I am referencing and acknowledging the fact that I ever had dreams and goals of my own, but I have certainly pushed myself to the side in many ways. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">Like most Mommies, I do this willingly. After all, isn’t Martyrdom #1 in the Mommy manual? Nevertheless, am I really doing them any favors in the end? I have girls, so do I want to be the example that imprints on their tiny brains that being a Mommy= losing yourself and relinquishing all of your hopes and dreams? Obviously, that would be a resounding Hell no! That would be, by far, the greatest disservice that I could ever do to my girls. I think to be a really great Mommy, we have to be willing to let our children see us as humans and as women with interests, hopes, and dreams outside of just being their Mother. I struggle with this daily. Most days, I lose the battle.</div><div class="MsoNormal"> Our children are our top priority but shouldn’t we be a priority on our own life, as well? Our children need to see us succeed, fail, survive it all and to pick ourselves up and continue on. If I were practicing as a lawyer or a doctor, I would not let it engulf my entire life. I would still allow myself outside interests, friends, hopes, and dreams. If we don’t do the same with Motherhood, who will we be when our children are grown and don’t need us to be their every thing? How will we define who we are if we have completely forgotten who we were?</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6027511072264313662.post-56988642636232496152010-12-27T11:33:00.000-05:002010-12-27T11:32:50.371-05:00The Rose Colored Christmas Conspiracy<style>
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<div class="MsoNormal">My favorite Christmas memory as a child was from when I was about 3 years old, it was the first year we were spending away from Ohio. We were living in Indiana about a block away from the Illinois border, in a small apartment with really huge floor to ceiling windows. I don’t know why I remember the windows so vividly. Prior to that we had lived in Dayton, near my father’s Uncle Ramon. Uncle Ramon and Aunt Doris were like my grandparents, since we never lived near my actual paternal grandparents, who lived in Mexico.Uncle Ramon and Aunt Doris were like the glue that held our family together, in a lot of ways.They bridged the gap between my Mother and Father. It was frightening and yet exciting. I remember feeling like something big was happening.</div><div class="MsoNormal">That Christmas I remember being special because it was our first year, as just ‘our’ family, the four of us. Well, my parents, Carlos (my little brother) and I, until my father’s brothers showed up. We always had a house full of relatives. We were never really alone. It's hard to know how you genuinely feel about the people in your life when you only ever see them in the midst of a perpetual party. There was never any down time.Never any quiet moments with children and parents, just being.Those moments that I have come to realize (as a parent myself now) are imperative to the parent child relationship.</div><div class="MsoNormal">This particular memory, I remember playing outside in the snow in our big crazy snowsuits, having snow ball fights with our Dad and uncles ,who seldom wore gloves.No idea why that sticks in my mind as being significant but I must have thought it very bizarre. They were from Mexico and I really don’t think they even thought about gloves as being an option. Every single photo I come across, they are throwing snowballs, without gloves. Then we’d all come inside and Carlos and I would sit in our little chairs (his upholstered in 70’s fashion avocado green and yellow flowers) and mine was a Big red teddy bear rocking chair that I was absolutely obsessed with. Our Mom would bring us hot chocolate and Carlos and I would watch whatever crazy 70’s cartoon was on at the time or if we were really lucky, an episode of the Monkees in syndication.What can I say? I had a wee crush on Davey Jones, even at the ripe old age of 3. It was unimportant what was on television, it was about sitting in those chairs and being beside my little brother. The illumination from the gaudy 1 string of colored lights outlining the huge gold curtains would dance against the plastic on the big velvet chairs. We’d sit there listening to the silver chirping bird ornament emanating from deep inside the Christmas tree covered with endless strings of flashing colored lights and tinsel that looked, in retrospect, that our Mom just let us throw by the handfuls on the tree. Sometimes we’d climb up under the tree to see if we could find that damn chirping bird and put it out of its misery, but we never did. Mostly, there we sat, my brother and I, hypnotized as we sat staring into space with our hot coco mustaches. I know it sounds so simple, innocuous even, but it was the best Christmas ever.</div><div class="MsoNormal">I do remember that Christmas I got a baby doll that was taller than I was, I could barely move the box to open her. She was beautiful and had long brown hair and big almond eyes, just like me. I loved that doll so much I even let her sit in my favorite chair that I never shared it with anyone. That Christmas was also the same year that Carlos got a giant red fire truck. He tore the wooden floors up with that truck running it back and forth and back and forth for hours. We were both over the moon.But something was missing.Maybe it was Uncle Ramon and Aunt Doris, or maybe just the place they held in the relationship between our parents or between our parents and Carlos and I. Maybe I was just too little to understand but could "feel" something was off.On paper and in pictures, it was amazing.</div><div class="MsoNormal">I look at those pictures and Carlos and I look completely happy. In reality, we were oblivious, as we should have been at 3 and 1 years old. We were happy and blissful and colored lights and bright shiny toys from Santa in a brand new apartment were all that was needed to make this the best Christmas ever, to us. When I look closer at the photos, my Mom looks tired and my Dad looks like he had someplace else to be. He definitely looks like he had someplace else that he wanted to be. Soon after this Christmas is when we all became painfully aware that my father was an alcoholic and my Mom was miserable dealing with the abuse that comes with being married to an alcoholic. For a moment, in a picture of a Christmas in a different place and a different time, we all looked happy.</div><div class="MsoNormal">The years that followed, from age 3 until I was 26, the pictures have smiles but the eyes tell another story. They were pasted on smiles and there was no happy memories to be made because every single holiday meant, a father who drank and had an erratic temper that could go off the handle and ruin everything on a whim. Those pictures from our first Christmas in Indiana reminds me of the potential things had to be different; to be good. Those photos show me the potential for Christmas to be snowball fights and coco mustaches, naïve happiness and joy at simply being together. Instead, the reality for us was that a completely carefree, happy Christmas with my parents was a once in a lifetime event. That alone makes it my favorite memory. It has also been the paradigm from which I have chosen to use as the antithesis of how I want to spend my Christmases with my own children. It's about the love and the togetherness, not doing the right thing on paper and photos.</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6027511072264313662.post-83784832756438582352010-12-26T00:41:00.000-05:002010-12-26T00:41:57.475-05:00Life is what happens when you are busy making plans<style>
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><b></b>After falling ass backwards into marriage with a wonderful man, really more than I could have ever asked for in a person to love me, 5 years later I was getting a little worried. I wasn’t worried about the marriage; it was rock solid with the exception of one not so small issue. I had always known what I wanted in life. There was no time frame on any of it but I knew, in my heart, that I would be married with children and successful at whatever I chose to pursue. Yes, my self-confidence runneth over. One small problem, I met the man of my dreams when I was least expecting it. He asked me to marry him, when I was even less expecting it. I said yes, to the shock of myself and everyone else. You see where I am going with this?</div><div class="MsoNormal">Life just kept tossing me those lovely wonderful curve balls. I went with it and it all seemed to be playing out perfectly. My life was everything I never knew I’d always wanted, served on a silver platter. One thing was missing, a baby.</div><div class="MsoNormal">It wasn’t missing because I had misplaced it or some unfortunate fertility issues. We weren’t so busy with our careers that we had forgotten about it. What happened was I married a man who wasn’t sure if he wanted children or not. I know it sounds crazy that I would have even considered marriage when I was so certain about this one aspect of my life. I knew I needed to be a mother, at some point, the way I know I need to breathe air. But he wasn’t totally sure that he didn’t want children, I am an eternal optimist, and we took a chance. Actually, I’d say it was more like the biggest gamble of my life because if things hadn’t worked out as they did, my story would be very different. Probably a lot more like Elizabeth Gilbert’s and a lot less like Truthful Mommy’s.</div><div class="MsoNormal">I remember feeling a lot of trepidation the summer of 2004. It had finally sunk it that maybe this wasn’t going to happen and then big decisions were going to have to be made. Decisions that neither of us wanted to even consider. So we vaguely discussed and kind of decided to plan to plan to have a baby. You know…maybe sometime in that not pre determined future. Personally, in retrospect, I think we were biding our time. He was trying to put off something he still wasn’t sure about and I was trying to give him the benefit of the doubt. I was trying and praying to keep hope alive in my heart. That was the summer of our 5-year anniversary.</div><div class="MsoNormal">We planned a romantic getaway to New Orleans. It was magical. I’m sure it had a lot to do with the “we’re on vacation” mojo and the ginormous hurricanes they serve in the French Quarter but we had a heart to heart and decided that we were both on board to plan to plan to have our mythical baby…one of these days. We walked around the Garden district holding hands and talking about how awesome it would be to live there. Spent nights walking together, gazing at the stars, eating rich foods on Jazz cruises in the Mississippi. We lingered in the French Quarter drinking all that life had to offer before coming back to our hotel to bask in one another’s love multiple times* <b>wink*</b>wink*</div><div class="MsoNormal">Then we returned home. Our marriage stronger than ever, our faith in each other renewed, our love undivided and then…I started puking and puking….and puking some more. Our plan to plan had been foiled and replaced by actual living in the now! We were both scared witless and excited. Me more excited him more scared witless. For a couple months, I was wondering how this was all going to play out. Don’t get me wrong, he was very involved. We did everything together. I read the pregnancy journal to him every night, so we knew what was going on with our baby. He read and sang to my belly. He was at every appointment. He got choked up at the heartbeat. He catered to my every pregnancy whim. He did everything right but for some reason. I felt like he felt like I had sprung this on him. I was too afraid to bring it up because, honestly, I was afraid of what his answer was going to be. Then I wasn’t sure if it was really fear or some kind of crazy hormonal paranoia. So I just went on basking in my glow and praying every night that he REALLY was too. It felt too good to be true, so I was sure some thing was afoot.</div><div class="MsoNormal">Then 3 days before Christmas we went to have a 3-D confirmation ultrasound done because I HAD to know what the sex of the baby was going to be. They had told me a girl but said they could be wrong because of leg placement. The doctor had tried 3 times to get a definite sex reading and always the same. She was a good Catholic girl even in utero, closed legs and a middle finger to the world. I was so nervous, I vomited. It was the big day; I was going to finally know the sex of our baby…our accidental, planning to plan love child. The image came up and we saw our baby in 3-D and I knew…we were ready. He was ready. He was happy. He was ECSTATIC. I had my answer, not about the sex of the baby but the answer to a much bigger question. Then Christmas came. I didn’t care what I received under the tree because I had already gotten my gift, three days earlier in the ultrasound room. I had gotten peace of mind. All the gifts were open and the Big Guy disappeared. Then he came back in with a huge, beautifully wrapped box and he placed it in front of me. “For me?” I asked. “No, it’s for the baby. I bought it a few months back to surprise you!” I opened the box and inside it was the most beautiful Burberry diaper bag that I had ever seen, through my tear filled eyes. He said, “<b>a few months back</b>”. I had worried for nothing. This is one of my favorite and most cherished holiday memories of all of my existence.<br />
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<i>This post was featured at A Belle, a Bean and a Chicago Dog last Wednesday but I wanted to share it here as well with my readers, </i></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6027511072264313662.post-23770944454002748392010-12-25T16:18:00.000-05:002010-12-25T16:18:12.641-05:00The Birth of Christ for the Social Media Savvy<object height="385" width="640"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/vZrf0PbAGSk?fs=1&hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/vZrf0PbAGSk?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="640" height="385"></embed></object><br />
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MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL! I had to share this for all my social media savvy friends.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6027511072264313662.post-5042252329386363172010-12-24T09:01:00.000-05:002010-12-24T09:01:07.130-05:00Mommy Truisms:Too Blessed to be Stressed Holiday EditionIt's a special time of year for us Mommies and so I thought I should share a special set of Mommy truisms. Hope this adds to your holiday enjoyment! Merry Christmas!<br />
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<ul><li>If your half asleep child wakes up in the middle of the night and you are caught red-handed wrapping "Santa" gifts, its better to gently walk said half asleep kid back to bed versus assuming they saw anything and telling them "Now that you know there's no Santa....".Believe me you can't unring that bell.</li>
</ul><ul><li>If you decide to make the elf on the shelf a part of your family tradition and tell your kids that the elves have magical powers of teleportation, its best not to get caught red-handed removing the elf from your luggage at the in laws house. Again, it's mighty hard to explain your way out of that mess.</li>
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<ul><li>Speaking of explaining your way out of a mess, if you accidentally use a term that you don't want your kids to know anything about, do NOT try to make up an explanation on the fly.It will end badly. For example, telling your kid that the "Boogie Monster is like the Cookie Monster but sucks the boogies out of sleeping children's noses" does not a situation better make.Just shut your mouth and pretend you said nothing.</li>
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<ul><li>When your littles are bugging the ever loving crap out of you wanting to make Christmas crafts, Christmas Cookies, or sing Christmas songs and you are running yourself crazy trying to make it the best Christmas ever..stop, take a deep breath and remember what its all for and about.It can't be perfect if you are annoyed with the very little people that you are trying to make it perfect for. Forget about the to do list and give those littles a little Christmas....NOW!</li>
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<ul><li>Don't drive yourself insane searching for the perfect gift.Don't do it. For the little ones it will change on a daily basis.Use your best judgment and give with your heart.Christmas morning is about smiles and togetherness.If you are there in the moment with them and the love is flowing,it will be the best Christmas ever.</li>
</ul><ul><li> If you don't heed the previous warning, as I may or may not have in the past, you may find yourself crying at the end of Christmas morning because the Fancy Nancy book that you ordered special, the easel from France, or the freaking $100 chair you bought them (that you KNEW was going to be perfect) is met with a "why the hell did she buy me this" look.</li>
</ul><ul><li>Christmas, like life, is what you make of it. It's not about how much money or how many gifts you give.It's about the passion with which you celebrate. Do you want your littles to think the season is about money and material things or about the spirit of love, a sacred religious celebration, and spending time with those you love? Remember, we are teaching them what it's all about.</li>
</ul><ul><li>Don't assume every gift your little one wants comes from a store.Sometimes the most meaningful gift a parent can give their child is attention, a warm cuddle, a nose kiss, time together, lap snuggles, bed time stories, and REALLY listening to what your littles are actually saying. The smile these things bring is genuine and worth everything.</li>
</ul><ul><li>When you are buried up to your eyeballs in snow and and it looks like you are living in a snow globe, and the kids keep begging to go outside, sometimes the best thing you can do is throw on all your layers, go outside and have a snowball fight for 15 minutes. These are the moments that memories are made of, why make the memory be of you saying no.Make the memory be, my Mommy was so cool she stopped the world and played with me in the snow.</li>
</ul><ul><li>Christmas eve may be about traditions and Santa but Christmas morning is about presents and a big breakfast.</li>
</ul><ul><li>Stress and worry are the only Mommy emotions less valuable than guilt. Don't do it!</li>
</ul><ul><li>When all else fails, coffee and wine will get you through the holidays! </li>
</ul><br />
<br />
Happy Holidays to each and every one of you. I hope that you have a wonderfully fabulous day basking in the glow of your families love. Kiss those littles, tell your Big Guy how much he means to you, and know that you are a great Mommy and wife.Merry Christmas, my friends.<br />
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This song is Christmas to me. <br />
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: small;"><b>Today I have the pleasure of being a part of the #HoHoHoHolidayswap ( every single time I say that , I hear the lyrics..hotel, motel, holiday inn...streaming through my head.What's that say about me?) . Anyways, these are a great bunch of bloggers who will blow your socks off.<i><a href="http://www.bellebeanchicagodog.com/"></a></i></b></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: small;"><b>But <i> </i>it is my pleasure to introduce to you one of my favorite people in the world ( bloggy, real and otherwise) Naomi de la Torre the talented and beautiful author of <a href="http://www.organicmotherhoodwithcoolwhip.com/">Organic Motherhood with Coolwhip.</a>She can also be found these days writing her velour covered ass off at <a href="http://www.sheknows.com/parenting/articles/820949/Not-a-Christian-at-Christmas">SheKnows</a> and also as the voice behind baby Lucha @ <a href="http://babybanter.sheknows.com/2010/12/i-told-you-there-were-supposed-to-be-dinosaurs-in-the-nativity-scene/">Baby Banter. </a></b></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: small;"><b>She is a talented writer, a fabulous friend, and can be found on twitter hanging out with the cool kids! Make sure to check out her blog and leave her some love here, as well! Now, let's give a big Truth About Motherhood welcome to the sweetest, mojito drinking, fallopian tube crossing, salsa dancing, baby wrangling, organic ,baby loving blog bestie of mine.....Naomi!</b></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: small;"><b>Today, I can be found spreading my holiday mayhem at <i><a href="http://www.bellebeanchicagodog.com/">A Belle, a Bean and a Chicago Dog. </a></i></b></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: small;"><b><i>Stop by and show me some love!</i></b></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: small;"><b><i> Please stop by as many of the blogs as you can. These ladies are all great writers and you will be in for a treat. </i></b></span><b> </b></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><b>The Bad Sister’s Favorite Christmas</b></div><div class="MsoNormal">I’m a good sister. Usually. Mostly. </div><div class="MsoNormal">But, according to my little sister Aliza, when we were young, I was bad. Very bad. Very bad indeed. My various crimes include:</div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="margin-left: 38.25pt; text-indent: -0.25in;">1.<span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span>Tricking her into eating cat food to impress a babysitter.</div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 38.25pt; text-indent: -0.25in;">2.<span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span>Excluding her from plans to move to New York City and live in a super fabulous loft and write encyclopedias for a living with our same-age cousin Hillary.</div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 38.25pt; text-indent: -0.25in;">3.<span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span>Not taking her to the bathroom and causing her to have various accidents that could have been avoided. (More on this later.)</div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 38.25pt; text-indent: -0.25in;">4.<span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span>Sending her out onto a small pond in our backyard on a raft that didn’t float. (Yes, she sank.)</div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="margin-left: 38.25pt; text-indent: -0.25in;">5.<span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span>Not playing Barbie Dolls with her. Even when she asked nicely.</div><div class="MsoNormal">I must admit, I did all those things. And more. But the worst of all my childhood crimes is probably one that occurred on Christmas one year. </div><div class="MsoNormal">This was during the era when neon clothes, shoulder pads, knee-length sweaters, and Cindy Lauper-inspired stirrup pants were all the rage and my sister had just received a brand-new pair of hot-pink jean stirrups. She was <i>over the moon</i> for her new outfit, which also came with a handful of jelly bracelets and a matching Mickey Mouse shirt. Just as we were trying on all our Christmas loot, my sister said, “Uh-oh! I have to pee!” </div><div class="MsoNormal">For whatever reason (I simply cannot explain my motives) I raced in front of her, dashed into the bathroom and stood on top of the toilet. She came in and pleaded with me to get off. She begged me to get down. She told me that it wasn’t funny. She told me it wasn’t nice. But apparently, I found the whole situation quite hilarious and I stood there on top of the toilet laughing hysterically. That is, until she became very quiet , turned bright red, and stood motionless while a big wet circle grew on the front of her brand new hot pink stirrup pants. </div><div class="MsoNormal">After that, I felt bad. </div><div class="MsoNormal">But apparently not bad enough to avoid the many other crimes that I’ve been accused of during the rest of my childhood. </div><div class="MsoNormal">Is this really my favorite Christmas?</div><div class="MsoNormal">No, of course not. There was also the Christmas during which I got my period for the first time and my mother felt the need to shout this information at top-volume throughout my Grandma’s house in front of a whole slew of male relatives. Which caused me such intense mortification that I considered taking up residence in the bathroom and never coming out again. </div><div class="MsoNormal">But that was probably my sister’s favorite Christmas. Not mine. </div><div class="MsoNormal">In truth, my sister and I are the best of friends. But when we were kids, we fought as often as we got along. My two boys are the same age difference apart as us and their daily squabbles send me over the edge. Regularly. They tease each other incessantly. They fight over toys. They tell tales on each other. Sometimes, I just want to scream, “<i>Why can’t you just get along!!?</i>?” But I guess, considering my sordid past, I really don’t have the right to say this. </div><div class="MsoNormal">Christmas, for me, above all else, is a time for family. And family is love. I love my family with an intensity that sometimes crushes me to bits and makes it hard to breathe. I can’t imagine my existence without them. And I adore this time of year because it gives us all a reason to come together. With a family like mine that is spread halfway across the globe, our times together are infrequent, but they are wonderful. </div><div class="MsoNormal">And yes, though we are now grown, we still tease each other. We argue. We play favorites. We tell stories on each other. We throw each other under the bus. Even as adults. No one is perfect. </div><div class="MsoNormal">And though you won’t find me standing atop any toilets when my friends or family are desperate anymore, I can’t claim that I don’t do something equally irritating and juvenile, just maybe something a <i>little</i> more fitting for my age range. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
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Unfortunately, I had a little slip today. Yes, one of my girls did something ( I can't honestly even remember what it was at this point) and I made the comment that the Boogie man something or other. As soon as I said it, I wanted to eat the words. I wanted to swallow them whole and push them deep down inside my stomach but it was too late. Those 2 words had fell on to the most astute ears of all time, the ears of Gabs. You know like the ides of March but much more dangerous.<br />
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What did I do? Well, I don't lie to my children ( well, I don't want to ) so how can I get out of this?I'd said it, she knew it meant something not good, so how the hell was I going to explain it all away? My thought process; Sesame street, Cookie Monster ( big blue friendly dude); Mommy fuck up,Boogie Monster; Crazy invisible guy who comes and eats the boogies of little kids who don't listen. What a train wreck! Clearly, I should have put more thought into this craziness.<br />
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I know, its a terrible cover. One day she'll know that the Boogie Man is a synonym for Satan but for now she thinks that the Boogie Monster is an invisible dude who comes around if he hears little girls talking back, fighting, telling their Mommy or sister they hate her, or being generally not good ..its the only time he is even aware of their existence.But if he hears, he'll come and suck all the boogies out of their noses in the middle the night ( sort of like one of those giant bulb suckers which of course, they detest)but ONLY if they are not good.<br />
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What white lies have you told your children when caught in a compromising position? How did it work out for you?We're you ever busted? I'm pretty sure this whole boogie monster thing is going to blow up all over my face. It's just a matter of time.Bella listened to my explanation and gave me the "I'm not sure but I'm pretty sure that you're full of crap Mom" look when she heard the whole sordid explanation. Gabs, on the other hand, she's been the best she's been since birth! Bella was pretty good too. She's not taking any chances with Christmas being so close and all.That's my smart cookie!Happy Mothering!Unknownnoreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6027511072264313662.post-5375499057933504062010-12-21T14:49:00.001-05:002010-12-21T15:09:57.966-05:00Nutrisystem Update; Week 7/Have a Holly Jolly ChristmasToday, after a weekend of travel and a rather <a href="http://motherhoodthetruth.blogspot.com/2010/12/i-got-kicked-til-i-cried.html">unpleasant reminder that I'm overweight</a>, I stepped onto the scale with great trepidation that was soon replaced by great respite. According to my scale, I have lost another 1.5 pounds which brings my overall total this week to 11 pounds in 7 weeks. 11 pounds lighter for Christmas? Merry Christmas to me! I'm so excited and I can feel my pants getting looser, which totally thrills me beyond what it should a grown woman.<br />
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Hope you all have a fabulous Christmas and stay tuned I have it on good authority that there is going to be a great deal in the next week or two, to help you start your 2011 off right and healthy!<br />
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Thanks for your support and I hope you all will be enjoying your holidays with your family and friends. Deep breaths and enjoy. Next week, I will be back with another VLOG update so you won't want to miss that!<br />
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<span style="font-size: xx-small;">DISCLOSURE: Nutrisystem is providing their program to me free of charge in exchange for my participation in the Nutrisystem Nation Blogging Program and weekly updates. I am not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed in this post are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255</span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6027511072264313662.post-43087005042374859712010-12-21T10:26:00.001-05:002010-12-21T10:43:02.887-05:00I got kicked til I CriedSeems my holiday spirit has not yet caught up with my Mommy Holiday need to be in the spirit. My brain knows that I want to want to enjoy the holidays, but for some reason..my heart's just not in it.<br />
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First, I blamed it on being to busy to enjoy the season with all the <a href="http://motherhoodthetruth.blogspot.com/2010/09/i-almost-vomited-over-snowlake.html">rehearsal's</a> and the <a href="http://motherhoodthetruth.blogspot.com/2010/12/lump-in-my-heart-runneth-over.html">productions </a>and just the hectic craziness that is <a href="http://motherhoodthetruth.blogspot.com/2010/11/most-wonderful-time-of-year.html">the holidays</a>. Then last Thursday,when I thought I was in the home stretch..wouldn't you know that something else came up.<br />
<br />
Thursday, I picked my 5 year old up from school, a seeming innocuous event.As we are driving home and I start my routine of inquiring about her day, I am informed that her <a href="http://motherhoodthetruth.blogspot.com/2010/09/throat-punch-thursdaythis-ones-gonna.html">teacher</a> , who previously made her the star of the classroom version of "What not to wear" and I've spoken to about her inappropriate behavior, has stricken once again.<br />
<br />
Bella begins to recount a conversation that she had with her teacher. It went a little something like this; said teacher was speaking to Bella's friend who had been on vacation and had gotten sick.The teacher was telling the student that she has missed a lot of school.Bella was standing within earshot, and so the teacher decided to tell Bella ( in front of the other children) "You've missed a lot of school too, Bella!" To which my 5 year old said, "I had the Nutcracker last week." Now let me explain this, Bella missed Monday and Tuesday of last week due to incliment weather and impassable roads but Friday, she had an excused absence for her performance in the Nutcracker. The very same Nutcracker that she had been waiting to be a part of for 3 years, the same one she auditioned for in September, and the very same one that she has been rehearsing for 3 days a week for 4 months (Did I mention she is only 5?) This was a lot of work, followed by a week long of 2.5 hour long dress rehearsals EVERY night ( my girls were kept up for rehearsal, 2 hours past when they should have already been asleep.It was a big sacrifice and acheivement on the part of Bella).This teacher told Bella (in front of other kids..to her face, not in her own little brain..where the thought should have remained) "Well, the Nutcracker is NOT important..kindergarten is!"<br />
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My reaction was to become livid because 1) She has no business speaking to her about personal matters in front of other children 2) The Nutcracker was/is important to Bella who worked her little derriere off to be a part of it. What gives this broad the right to discount my child's achievements? Newsflash; Hey bitch,if I refuse to give my kids an inferiority complex..you sure as hell are not allowed to do so!Main problem being, this is not the first time that she has exhibited this sort of behavior.I have asked her NOT to do this before, to contact me directly.Each time I contacted her, I took a deep breath and I was very diplomatic. I was getting my Master's in Elementary Education when I was pregnant with Bella and I've been working in education now for 10 years, so I do know the ins and outs of the system. I know this woman needs to retire. This time I included the principal on the email.The principal said she would handle it, next morning first thing I received an email that the teacher would only send notes and communication through myself directly. Hopefully this matter is resolved. So, that started the break off with a bad taste in my mouth.<br />
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Then there was an incident where a family member took it upon himself to mock my blog and mimmick every food choice that I made while visiting.I am on Nutrisystem and I ate my Nutrisystem while there, but there were times where we were out starving and picked something up at a restaurant. I made my choices with the plan in mind. But all the while, I had this family member, mocking me. Cracking wise on my weight.( who the hell thinks its OK to comment on a woman's weight?) I bit my tongue,so I wasn't teaching my girls to be disrespectful towards their elders. And yes, he does know I'm on Nutrisystem.The straw that broke the camels back was when he decided to rant over what I was eating at a public restaurant,loudly enough to call the attention of the other patrons ( I was mortified) and then when we left. My husband was fastening the girls into their car seats. I was waiting to sit next to them ( I was freezing),but his arm was in the way so I couldn't get all the way in.The family member said, maybe if you hadn't eaten so much, you'd fit! WTF?? I was flabbergasted. Yeah, and that was the third day of this type of behavior.Until, I couldn't take it anymore. I had been biting my tongue and then I woke up the next morning and had hit my threshold. I had to leave. I can only be gracious for so long. So, that's been the start to the holiday break! Seems everybody;s trying to kick this girl til she cries!<br />
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But I won't let them restrict the size of my heart!This heart will grow three times its original size!Damn the finances! Damn the separation!Damn expectation!Damn ignorant people with big boisterous voices! This is MY Blog...if you don't like it or you don't want to hear/care about what I have to say..Don't read it! Whatever you do, don't try to throw my own words in my face. I know what I have said.I am aware that words have effect on people and if used improperly can cut, like knives. I know that first hand.That's why I don't do that but lucky for me others do not subscribe to the rules of couth.<br />
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So, I am home and I am off to cuddle my girls and love the holiday light right out of them.We have 2 glorious weeks and the Big Guy will be joining us tonight or tomorrow, either way, we'll scoot in and make room.I just want to encapsulate the moment of togetherness because it will be fleeting but I promise; we will know it was here.What will you be doing to keep your spirits up and truly enjoy the important things...the family, the people, not just the things.Don't get caught up in the momentum, get wrapped up in the love.How will you do that this year for your family?<br />
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One more piece of happiness, yesterday (when I started this post) was the birthday of one of my favorite people in the world!Nik,love you like a sister and I am so glad that we met and became fast friends. It is so rare to find this kind of friendship as an adult. I truly do hope you were spoiled rotten yesterday and appreciated for all that you do for EVERYONE!Running around the world saving all the sickies one gurney at a time!You are an inspiration.Happy Birthday,love ya!Unknownnoreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6027511072264313662.post-8498204953104011712010-12-16T08:43:00.000-05:002010-12-16T08:42:54.446-05:00The Day I took Away SantaIt's been craziness, wrapped in chaos, and tied up with a big bow of peppermint flavored stress over here these days. I know what you are thinking; its the holidays.It's like this for everybody. Suck it, Truthful Mommy! And I do realize that along with being the "most wonderful" time of the year it is also fraught with balding stress ( for me anyways)What you're not balding? Well, then obviously I am more stressed than you.I win!Score!<br />
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I am no more pitiful than the rest of you or inundated with any more responsibility. But, this week is not a good week for this Mommy to have so much on her plate. This Mommy is trying to recoup emotionally and psychologically, not to mention physically, from the last month.Add to the mix a healthy dose of exhaustion and cramps and there you have it; Mommy needs a rest preferably without the side of sass.<br />
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I find myself teetering between thinking my girls are the best thing since Ding Dongs were invented and quite possibly the spawn of Spongebob ( you know adorable to most but ever so annoying that you'd just like to bash your head into the wall?) Anyways, most of our days start off with good intentions then they wake up and dawdle ( like real life, slower than molasses dawdling. It requires a concerted effort on their part!) then they get dressed and eat even slower than that. Then trying to wrangle them into their hats, gloves, scarves, coats and boots must burn at least 500 calories.I'm exhausted before we even leave the house.<br />
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Then I drop of my 5 year old and she is adorable with her kisskiss " Love you Mommy" and wave.My ears perk up a bit.Then my 3 year old is absolutely freaking cuteness for the next 3 hours,usually singing songs, randomly bestowing hugs and saying "Me love you Mommy".Then its pick up time.Then hell breaks lose. Trying to wrangle tired, hungry kids back into the car is worse than trying to get the out the door. Then there is whining, loads and loads of whining.We discuss our plan of attack for the afternoon, then somehow between the ride home and lunch, they turn into someone else's children. Someone whose children I'd like to be able to send home!<br />
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Today, sometime in that time is when it happened. Seems the Santa threats and now even the <a href="http://motherhoodthetruth.blogspot.com/2010/12/elf-on-shelf-run-amuck.html">kneecap busting elves </a>are of no consequence. Instead, these two, seemingly innocuous to the naked eye, girls are taunting me, ignoring me and defying me at every turn.Pick up your room! NO!Finish your lunch!Nah!Stop hitting your sister!Complete silence, in observation of what an apparently stupid asshole I am for thinking they are going to listen to anything I say!Today, I told them, " If you don't behave for the rest of the day, Santa won't be coming to Grandma's house!"( They hire a Santa to come visit the girls at their annual holiday party) My 5 year old went on about disobeying me and my 3 year old looked me in the face and said( all exasperated like) : "Me know! Me heard you!No Santa!" And that was the moment that I realized that I had lost all credibility with my girls.My threats have become idle.They called my bluff.So, even though I didn't necessarily want to...I canceled Santa. I took Santa away from my girls.*(Hangs her head in shame)*. I don't think they believe I will follow through but little do they know, in the heat of the moment I texted the Big Guy and there will be NO Santa at the party. They will know I am serious on Saturday when there is NO Santa HoHoHoIng.Of course,that is assuming they make it to the party. They may be sitting home learning a lesson! We will see what tomorrow brings!<br />
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What threats have you made that you had to follow through with even though you may not have wanted to? How do you handle it when your kids completely ignore your requests to cooperate and behave?Unknownnoreply@blogger.com15tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6027511072264313662.post-59143342440066623922010-12-15T09:38:00.001-05:002010-12-16T13:28:16.594-05:00The Lump in My Heart Runneth Over<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWs3nzW0JGFE81zJmTT2ufhk-7BBKkweAdhj3m-sOZ2WyFXwd9FUvQvcGnAJ0d3a2A5D58bAd_3djaZT5iR4Qe1e2zYSs7OT-IEKYk7jwmHCOUw0I3Jle31jkUb0x9T4XBjz16xbOwc6s/s1600/DSCN5615.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWs3nzW0JGFE81zJmTT2ufhk-7BBKkweAdhj3m-sOZ2WyFXwd9FUvQvcGnAJ0d3a2A5D58bAd_3djaZT5iR4Qe1e2zYSs7OT-IEKYk7jwmHCOUw0I3Jle31jkUb0x9T4XBjz16xbOwc6s/s640/DSCN5615.JPG" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I fully realize this picture is fuzzy but there is something ethereal about & it is very reminiscent of how the weekend felt. </td></tr>
</tbody></table>The house lights went down & I was overcome with emotion.I sat there, my 3 year old to my right and her father on the other side of her.We held our breaths.Tchaikovsky started to swell from the orchestra pit and my heart began to swell with pride, as my eyes swelled with tears in anticipation of my little girl's debut performance on the stage as a ballerina.<span id="goog_1679581982"></span><span id="goog_1679581983"></span><br />
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We know the story of the Nutcracker well.We've been reading it to Bella since she was 3, the year that she started <a href="http://motherhoodthetruth.blogspot.com/2010/09/i-almost-vomited-over-snowlake.html">taking ballet</a>.It is a big part of our holiday tradition.This year was different, this year it wasn't just about sitting in the audience and basking in the holiday spirit .This year was momentous.This year, the Nutcracker was one of my Bella's milestones; like first steps, first words, first day of school. Like so many before it and so many that are yet to come, it is that moment that parents find themselves reluctantly and pridefully letting go...just a little, just enough to give you a great big lump in your heart.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div>So, there I sat with my great big giant lump in my heart, trying to hold it together.Waiting, hoping, not breathing in anticipation of the end of the first act;the moment that my <a href="http://motherhoodthetruth.blogspot.com/2010/09/i-almost-vomited-over-snowlake.html">little snowflake</a> would enter stage left. Then it happened, there she was with her white leotard and tutu, wrapped in the glow of the stage light, floating gracefully above the floor like a vision in tulle loveliness. I realize that everyone else was focusing their attentions on the "big" snowflakes ( the more seasoned ballerinas) but my every attention was devoted solely to my little snowflake.Every plies, leap, pirouette that she did, I watched her face to see that she was enjoying every moment of it.After all, isn't that what we live for..those moments of sheer happiness in our child's face. The 5 minutes that she was on stage felt like a lifetime, as I sat there holding my breath and trying to suppress the lump in my heart. Then, it was over. Four months of rehearsals, weeks of anticipation, countless dollars and a few moments of graceful beauty under falling snow; priceless!<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiVDPPXUVhqWla80Xr-gckV70wohaqAaUGBWRri4DcSfGq7eMDjAGQM-UbKESD6bLv2Iz4RCgc2QK-JwyMA9tyMGWv8ScoIyxKCAsDdkJqSfD-5D8iC7ww8XWWZA6BULhEpqJi22oCxZfE/s1600/IMG_2811.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiVDPPXUVhqWla80Xr-gckV70wohaqAaUGBWRri4DcSfGq7eMDjAGQM-UbKESD6bLv2Iz4RCgc2QK-JwyMA9tyMGWv8ScoIyxKCAsDdkJqSfD-5D8iC7ww8XWWZA6BULhEpqJi22oCxZfE/s640/IMG_2811.jpg" width="426" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg108nEztSUe1COKAwprIwwQ5XXcAHUm5uWtkYz3f5j2LT39DPrDND4vJ80tRo4dEN9oCQhCwPHkBto6TidxfIh673N_fIWCgWXYNnjpivdrKg9_17rGUZ7xuY6ACXNHpcuRLMgM9bezYw/s1600/IMG_2769.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg108nEztSUe1COKAwprIwwQ5XXcAHUm5uWtkYz3f5j2LT39DPrDND4vJ80tRo4dEN9oCQhCwPHkBto6TidxfIh673N_fIWCgWXYNnjpivdrKg9_17rGUZ7xuY6ACXNHpcuRLMgM9bezYw/s640/IMG_2769.jpg" width="426" /></a></div>We met her backstage with roses, gifts, and enough praise to last her a lifetime but no words could amply convey the pride I felt in my heart. Family and friends came from all over to see our little girl take the stage.I just tried not to cry...too much.I held it together pretty well until the ride home from the theater and then the lump in my heart gave way and burst, overflowing and escaping through my eyes. There I sat, silently, ugly crying feeling the pride and momentum of what had just transpired.The Big Guy sat next to me, pretending not to notice how swept away I was by this occasion. He's learned after 13 years to just be, any interaction or conversation can induce hysterics;hyperventilating, noisy, body shaking ugly crying.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxOq6ZTflLV2InDOC3GJqYAzMZzka-MgwTfZ4NYqKV_1qhwUiUDLyGNxmFpNXkljkvQPGfn2PcnjElNxLGDPaQN-sspPbD38KvxyN3Y-m3dD9pqOG9kdyApb_RgI-rObNVqGzCw00EBFg/s1600/IMG_2804.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxOq6ZTflLV2InDOC3GJqYAzMZzka-MgwTfZ4NYqKV_1qhwUiUDLyGNxmFpNXkljkvQPGfn2PcnjElNxLGDPaQN-sspPbD38KvxyN3Y-m3dD9pqOG9kdyApb_RgI-rObNVqGzCw00EBFg/s640/IMG_2804.JPG" width="640" /></a></div>It was a moment she will never forget and neither will the Big Guy and I. It was the first moment our little girl became a real ballerina. It is emblazoned in my mind like the image on my digital camera with the waltz of the snowflakes accompanying it on a never ending loop. What is a moment of overwhelming pride that you have felt for your child? How did you handle the lump in your heart?Unknownnoreply@blogger.com17tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6027511072264313662.post-48635299289624353402010-12-14T10:02:00.000-05:002010-12-14T10:02:41.968-05:00Nutrisystem week 6 update;Busy is as Busy does<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgouFL1donQxAcv1IM33PHSih8KYg-NBtqjxQUteQoSar0OQkt9hrL_r5pisCxGXy9FYqaCSgHpf67xy1iFayflCQSsNbTIV2kVwCLGDK9Xcy-txFxYdGlSYpYXSrh60FLb18yuew8Tlc8/s1600/nutrisystem-logo.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgouFL1donQxAcv1IM33PHSih8KYg-NBtqjxQUteQoSar0OQkt9hrL_r5pisCxGXy9FYqaCSgHpf67xy1iFayflCQSsNbTIV2kVwCLGDK9Xcy-txFxYdGlSYpYXSrh60FLb18yuew8Tlc8/s1600/nutrisystem-logo.jpg" /></a></div><br />
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It's been six weeks and this week I lost another 2 pounds. This brings my grand total to 9.5 pounds.I am so close to 10 pounds I can taste it. It is so exciting to me to be losing weight, when this is the time of year that I normally put on a good 5 pounds due to holiday parties and stress eating. But no this year, thanks to Nutrisystem.This past week was absolutely crazy. It was the week of the Nutcracker production for our city's ballet, which would be irrelevant except that my 5 year old was making her debut and we had dress rehearsals and late nights all week long.I stuck to the plan, as much as possible, and made an effort to really get in my water and veggies and the result was 2 pounds. Proof positive that this plan is doable even with the busiest of lifestyles.Believe me when I say busy. Last week, I wasn't sure if I was coming or going on most days. Thanks for the support and encouraging words. You lighten my load on this journey, knowing that you are always here comforts me and keeps me focused. Happy Holidays!<br />
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<span style="font-size: xx-small;">DISCLOSURE: Nutrisystem is providing their program to me free of charge in exchange for my participation in the Nutrisystem Nation Blogging Program and weekly updates. I am not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed in this post are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255</span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6027511072264313662.post-58003224574154736722010-12-09T08:23:00.001-05:002010-12-09T08:23:30.985-05:00Elf on A Shelf run Amuck<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjXerP6kL4YzPuG4maXexBYWUvOCttDi1W-7cK288aWMCLb4wKgK9FMqD0VACWhdx942q4qmkmqEotL9gWwuiMKBaVGCqu9F3nnm91986Uxze3IeISNcyxqJNUJ9LxUJA_8soAw47y69ew/s1600/IMG_2205.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjXerP6kL4YzPuG4maXexBYWUvOCttDi1W-7cK288aWMCLb4wKgK9FMqD0VACWhdx942q4qmkmqEotL9gWwuiMKBaVGCqu9F3nnm91986Uxze3IeISNcyxqJNUJ9LxUJA_8soAw47y69ew/s640/IMG_2205.jpg" width="426" /></a></div>Last year, <strike>we </strike>I decided that I wanted to start the whole Elf on the Shelf tradition with my girls.Of course, once I saw what the Elf on the Shelf actually looked like, there was no way I was bringing that thing into my house.It would have scared the Christmas spirit right out of my girls. Thoughts of them sleeping with me nightly until they were 15 danced in my head and I nixed the Elf ( jokes on me because they are currently co-sleepers!) I wasn't ready to abandon the entire idea, just that particular elf. You know me, I went on a quest until a could locate 2 more aesthetically pleasing elves. I acknowledge that I am so conforming to society's idea of beauty. Shame on me.The girls were 2 and 4 and, let's be honest, I needed a new bargaining chip.The fat guy threats just weren't cutting it anymore. I needed something more tangible, not a threat of 1 day of the entire year. My girls are fairly certain that Santa is like God in the respect that he forgives..everything. But elves, well, those little bastards can be as vicious as Mommy wants them to be. Those little dudes are Santa's henchmen; they bust kneecaps and bite ankles. And so began the tradition..in our home.<br />
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Anyone who knows the Big Guy and I know that, in most respects, we don't half ass anything when it comes to our girls, with the exception of when we are dropping the ball completely.Sky's the limit, to infinity and beyond and all that bullshit. So, our elves ( yes, there are 2, one for each girl...its hard work wrangling babies) are sent via Air mail from the North Pole. You doubt me? Hey, there is postage paid and everything..even teeny tiny holes in the box so those minuscule Northern mafioso enforcers can breathe. They arrive with a letter from Santa explaining all ( yes, by now you should all be fully aware that we take everything just one step too far).<br />
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This year, Analee ( that's the name since "someone' forgot to remove the tag from the elf) arrived magically,a s if out of thin air.One day he was not here and the next, there he sat high in the Christmas tree, watching,waiting to be discovered.Keeping watch over my girls as they shouted and fought.And then it happened, Gabs made her way to touch her Clara ornament(you know the special one that she is forbidden to touch) and as her eyes rose from the ornament there perched 3/4s of the way up the tree, Analee.Gab's let out a yelp. Then said nothing. She slyly made her way to her sister, who screamed and immediately ran to greet our old friend.She was all flushed and hyperventilating trying to get the words out of her mouth, the proclamation that "Analee" was back. Santa had sent him to watch over them. I feigned surprise and said hello. Then it was bedtime.A few days later, after many hours of Bella standing in front of the Christmas tree explaining away every transgression that she had levied against her sister (literally, I found her no less than 15 times talking to the elf...explaining that Gabs made her do it and to tell Santa..it was Gabs, I tell you.All Gabs!) a package arrived in the mail.<br />
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The girls saw the brightly decorated box and knew instantly what the package contained. They gently placed it on the floor, in front of the fireplace ( there is a great amount of reverence given to the elves) and peeled the packaging back. Inside, they found a letter from Santa and the jolly smile of "Ed", sent back by Santa to report for another year of duty in our household. The girls gasped. They love the elves but they are afraid to touch them, not even with a ten foot pole. Well, Bella is anyways.Gabs actually midget tossed poor Ed out of her room on his ear today when she was having a particularly hard time fighting a nap.Poor Ed!But that's an entirely different post. I was asked to place Ed somewhere, because, silly you, elves don't run around in front of humans during day light hours.Bella has a theory that she shared with me the other day.It goes a little something like this: Bella" Mommy, how do the elves tell Santa what we're doing?" Me:"Well, Bella, the elves are magical so they just pop back over to Santa and give him a daily report." She looks slightly perturbed and confused.Bella:'Mommy, why don't they just call him?" Me:"Well, Bella they can magically just pop back to Santa, why waste the minutes?"(I'm slightly exasperated.This lie has gotten too big,You know I can't lie!)Bella: "Mommy?" Me;"Yes?"Bella: "Mommy, I think Santa has secret cameras in the house and can see everything we do!"I'm speechless.After all, she is only 5 years old.First, she has rationalized the Tooth Fairy and now elves with spy cams? Me:"No,Bella.they.pop.back. to .Santa.every.night!"<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This letter from Santa makes me cry, a little bit.It choked me up reading it to the girls.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>Every night, I move the elves to different positions and to different random spots in throughout the house; the bathroom ( taking a poop, surprise Ed's watching), eating breakfast (Surprise Analee is in the chair next to you),putting your clothes in the hamper (Be careful you'll squish Ed), reaching for the milk ( oooh, poor Ed is chilly in the fridge..no sneaking candy!)turn on the fireplace (oh no, be careful Analee is getting hot under the collar).You get the point?<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div>And so starts another year of the mischievousness that is the elf visitors.Elf on a shelf my ass, those little suckers are running all over my house. It scares my girls that our little visitors wield so much power in their tiny hands.They are roaming free, recording every single scream, yell, hair pull, piss my sister off moment/ talk back to my Mommy, fighting my bedtime, not going to eat my asparagus moment that goes down in our house..and apparently, so are Santa's spy cams!So, remember you better watch out, you better not pout,you better not cry, I'm telling you why..Santa's sending his henchmen to rat on you!Happy Christmas!<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div>Maybe it has something to do with the fact that I am watching the finances closely since this year has been full of new jobs, relocations and maintaining separate households, which is nothing to speak of the fact that our whole life has been suspended and not quite right with the Big Guy not living here. Maybe my lack of enthusiasm has something to do with being overwhelmed by the to do lists and not enough time to accomplish the tasks at hand. I have been buried under snow for most of December and there's been no time for shopping, baking, enjoying. Its been a series of appointments and dates. Truly, I feel like my girls are being jipped out of their Christmas. I've been so caught up in all the obligations that I've been snapping at my girls and firing snark from my mouth like an AK-47.I know on more than one occasion, lately, I've given them the "are you retarded?" look and may have even said something to that effect, but not quite as awful. But the sentiment was there and that is as guilty as saying the words themselves. Thoughts become words and words become actions.Well, even thinking that makes me a really horrible Grinch of a mother, in my book. I don't want to be THAT person.I don't want my girls to think it even fathomable that I could mean such awful words.The thought of them believing that I think they are anything less than amazing or that my love is conditional upon whether or not they are pleasing to me, makes me sick to my stomach.I want to be happy, excited and gay. I need to get my warm fuzziness boiling back over. I want to spread it all over my children like warm molasses.<br />
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Christmas is not about things to do, places to be or presents to open; Christmas is about love, peace and people.I want my girls to look back on their childhood Christmases and remember the cuddles in front of the fire, spontaneous Christmas cookie baking, making fudge with Daddy, snowball fights, and watching Christmas Movies; staying up late to put cookies out for Santa and going to mass with the whole family.It's firsts snows and snow angels.It's togetherness.It's a series of moments that form a lifetime. I want it to be a feeling in their heart.I want it to be the spirit of something larger than us; of hope, love and joy. I'm clearing out the clutter of my life and my mind and going forth, my only true obligation is going to be to see to it that my girls are happy.Everything else is secondary. <span style="font-family: comic sans ms,verdana,arial,helvetica; font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: comic sans ms,papyrus,arial,helvetica,verdana; font-size: xx-small;"><span style="font-family: comic sans ms,papyrus,arial,helvetica,verdana; font-size: xx-small;"><span style="font-family: comic sans ms,papyrus,arial,helvetica,verdana; font-size: xx-small;"><span style="font-family: comic sans ms,papyrus,arial,helvetica,verdana; font-size: xx-small;"><span style="font-family: comic sans ms,verdana,arial,helvetica; font-size: medium;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="color: black; font-family: comic sans ms,verdana,arial,helvetica; font-size: x-small;"><span style="color: black; font-family: comic sans ms,verdana,arial,helvetica; font-size: x-small;"> </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
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</div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: comic sans ms,verdana,arial,helvetica; font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: comic sans ms,papyrus,arial,helvetica,verdana; font-size: xx-small;"><span style="font-family: comic sans ms,papyrus,arial,helvetica,verdana; font-size: xx-small;"><span style="font-family: comic sans ms,papyrus,arial,helvetica,verdana; font-size: xx-small;"><span style="font-family: comic sans ms,papyrus,arial,helvetica,verdana; font-size: xx-small;"><span style="font-family: comic sans ms,verdana,arial,helvetica; font-size: medium;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="color: black; font-family: comic sans ms,verdana,arial,helvetica; font-size: x-small;"><span style="color: black; font-family: comic sans ms,verdana,arial,helvetica; font-size: x-small;">Fah who for-aze! Fah who for-aze! <br />
Dah who dor-aze! Dah who dor-aze! <br />
Welcome Christmas, Welcome Christmas, <br />
Come this way! Come this way! </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: comic sans ms,verdana,arial,helvetica; font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: comic sans ms,papyrus,arial,helvetica,verdana; font-size: xx-small;"><span style="font-family: comic sans ms,papyrus,arial,helvetica,verdana; font-size: xx-small;"><span style="font-family: comic sans ms,papyrus,arial,helvetica,verdana; font-size: xx-small;"><span style="font-family: comic sans ms,papyrus,arial,helvetica,verdana; font-size: xx-small;"><span style="font-family: comic sans ms,verdana,arial,helvetica; font-size: medium;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="color: black; font-family: comic sans ms,verdana,arial,helvetica; font-size: x-small;"><span style="color: black; font-family: comic sans ms,verdana,arial,helvetica; font-size: x-small;"><object height="400" width="600"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/n4D3KZV4PL8?fs=1&hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/n4D3KZV4PL8?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="600" height="400"></embed></object> </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com17tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6027511072264313662.post-44438088386416504372010-12-07T09:41:00.000-05:002010-12-07T09:41:17.780-05:00When Happiness hits You like a Train...This song is the beat that my soul is dancing to in the rain these days. It is ferocious and pulchritudinous.All encompassing agony and panoptic ecstasy all in one moment. It IS the moment that you truly love someone, it is sweet repose and cacophonous awakening.It is your heart exploding to make room for all the love that it is about to give and receive.It is adrenaline, breath seizing fear, all embracing passion; it is everything.It is nothing.It is genteel and savage.It postulates that you obstreperously shout and church whisper simultaneously.It is a sublimely religious experience.It is the air that you breathe in to sustain you, the water that quenches your exsiccating thirst, the nourishment that feeds the vast gaping hole in your heart. It is excruciatingly beautiful and awe-inspiringly ugly, a choir of halcyon angels and the torturous scream of the banshee concurrently.It sets your soul on fire and compels you to wrap yourself in its engulfing flames.It makes you audacious and at the same time paralyzingly terrifies you.It is death and birth.It is life, it is here all we need do is open our hearts and our minds to it. It is too beautiful for words.<br />
<br />
<object height="385" width="640"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/iWOyfLBYtuU?fs=1&hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/iWOyfLBYtuU?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="640" height="385"></embed></object><br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">Dog Days Are Over<br />
<br />
Happiness hit her like a train on a track<br />
Coming towards her stuck still no turning back<br />
She hid around corners and she hid under beds<br />
She killed it with kisses and from it she fled<br />
With every bubble she sank with her drink<br />
And washed it away down the kitchen sink<br />
<br />
The dog days are over<br />
The dog days are done<br />
The horses are coming<br />
So you better run<br />
<br />
Run fast for your mother, run fast for your father<br />
Run for your children, for your sisters and brothers<br />
Leave all your loving, your loving behind<br />
You cant carry it with you if you want to survive<br />
<br />
The dog days are over<br />
The dog days are done<br />
Can you hear the horses?<br />
'Cause here they come<br />
<br />
And I never wanted anything from youExcept everything you had and what was left after that too, oh<br />
Happiness hit her like a bullet in the back<br />
Struck from a great height by someone who should know better than <br />
that<br />
<br />
The dog days are over<br />
The dog days are done<br />
Can you hear the horses?<br />
'Cause here they come<br />
<br />
Run fast for your mother, run fast for your father<br />
Run for your children, for your sisters and brothers<br />
Leave all your loving, your loving behind<br />
You cant carry it with you if you want to survive<br />
<br />
The dog days are over<br />
The dog days are done<br />
Can you hear the horses?<br />
'Cause here they come<br />
<br />
The dog days are over<br />
The dog days are done<br />
The horses are coming<br />
So you better run</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><i>Florence & the Machine </i></span></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6027511072264313662.post-33098438504289472342010-12-07T09:30:00.002-05:002010-12-07T09:45:04.685-05:00Waah,Waah,Waah;Nutrisystem update week 5<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgouFL1donQxAcv1IM33PHSih8KYg-NBtqjxQUteQoSar0OQkt9hrL_r5pisCxGXy9FYqaCSgHpf67xy1iFayflCQSsNbTIV2kVwCLGDK9Xcy-txFxYdGlSYpYXSrh60FLb18yuew8Tlc8/s1600/nutrisystem-logo.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgouFL1donQxAcv1IM33PHSih8KYg-NBtqjxQUteQoSar0OQkt9hrL_r5pisCxGXy9FYqaCSgHpf67xy1iFayflCQSsNbTIV2kVwCLGDK9Xcy-txFxYdGlSYpYXSrh60FLb18yuew8Tlc8/s1600/nutrisystem-logo.jpg" /></a></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqE_2f_2_i1uGPMaNBGGc-F2k5VJhTBDrh3xrxA9EO6Otb_j86bnhlTLiovClGvRv5_JDJCpVmkwqxFK3u6V3ojZuH3UD5zCB3r1CN1vSzxWf9qogNx_O0bzO3PWH2yvSGgKDmmUwORrQ/s1600/nutrisystemScale.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqE_2f_2_i1uGPMaNBGGc-F2k5VJhTBDrh3xrxA9EO6Otb_j86bnhlTLiovClGvRv5_JDJCpVmkwqxFK3u6V3ojZuH3UD5zCB3r1CN1vSzxWf9qogNx_O0bzO3PWH2yvSGgKDmmUwORrQ/s1600/nutrisystemScale.jpg" /></a></div><br />
Well, this morning when I stepped onto the scale, I am fairly certain that I heard a :WaahWaah Waah! Seriously, it mocked me. This morning the scale had not moved from last weeks weigh in. I am at a7.5 pound weight loss for 5 weeks. This is not where I wanted to be this week. I know that according to guidelines, I am right on track for a 1-2 pound weight loss per week. I just thought I was going to be the exception to the rule and be at a whopping 12 pound loss by now but obviously,that is not what has happened. I can not redo the past week. The only thing that I can do is move forward with a new attitude and an even bigger determination to succeed.I know exactly why the scale has not budged.It's not like I sat around eating bon bons and drinking coke, but there was the Saturday evening that we went out for pizza and I had a piece of pizza ( regular pizza not my Nutrisystem pizza) and 2 pieces of garlic cheese bread,and where I added carbs I minused vegetables. The moment the food hit my lips, the soundbite " a minute on your lips, forever on your hips" played loudly in my head. I knew it was a bad choice but I made it anyways and the indiscretion has weighed heavily on my success ( no pun intended). It probably also didn't help that I zumba'd a grand total of once last week. So, the moral of the story is for the plan to work, you have to follow the plan. I strayed and so did my success. I've learned my lesson.I don't want to hear that scale mock me ever again.I won't allow it. I've already done my zumba this morning.The Quebradita almost killed me but it felt awesome knowing I was doing an "In Yo face" to the scale! Next time I consider that slice of pizza, I will be playing the soundbite "Nothing tastes as good as thin feels!"<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: xx-small;">DISCLOSURE: Nutrisystem is providing their program to me free of charge in exchange for my participation in the Nutrisystem Nation Blogging Program and weekly updates. I am not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed in this post are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255</span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6027511072264313662.post-91494006975977884952010-12-02T08:23:00.001-05:002010-12-02T08:23:30.780-05:00Tooth Fairy; You creepy little bastard!Recently, it seems that my girls are growing up at lightening speed. The phrases that pass their lips, the mannerisms, the reading, the attention to detail in their looks, and especially the observations that they make of the world..blow my mind. Here is one of Bella's gems,as of late.<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjuvt4hdagt6AVi_6pAXwcRRqYjC8kzptsjhWWVNCxq5ZwOSwDHMBT9F2p3hogmgA22W2cckVXsT1jYG17PdiUPL1awh7xScbg1Ce9eY9KSBDkAT4QNqpufBQ2YiyuWRrdpobxEMc_KH2g/s1600/smiling-tooth-thumb538489.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjuvt4hdagt6AVi_6pAXwcRRqYjC8kzptsjhWWVNCxq5ZwOSwDHMBT9F2p3hogmgA22W2cckVXsT1jYG17PdiUPL1awh7xScbg1Ce9eY9KSBDkAT4QNqpufBQ2YiyuWRrdpobxEMc_KH2g/s320/smiling-tooth-thumb538489.jpg" width="265" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;">photo courtesy of google images</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>Bella recently lost her very first tooth.It was right around Halloween.She was very excited. Her father and I were, let me honest, pretty sad because, you see, this represents her growing up.This is just another first part of letting go.Bet you never knew losing baby teeth had such a deep meaning, did you? Though we may not be thrilled about what it symbolizes, you know we had to make a BIG GIGANTIC deal about it. This is the FIRST tooth.Grandma sent a little satin pillow to place the tooth in and put under my Bella's pillow and there was a little book to record the moment. I snapped pictures and wiped away a tear*sniff,sniff* It happened on a Thursday, in the middle of the night and Bella told me that she wanted to wait for her Daddy to be home, so he could be part of this momentous occasion. Friday comes, the Big Guy is home, while he and I are hushedly discussing the going rate for a first tooth these days and deciding whether or not one of us had to hit the ATM, Bella walks right up to us and delivers this proclamation; "Mommy and Daddy, I don't think I am going to put my tooth under my pillow tonight!" We look at one another bewildered. Did I mention she had been waiting for this tooth to fall out since she started kindergarten and all the other kids were missing teeth? Me:"Why not, sweetie?" Bella:"Well, Mommy, I was thinking about it and its pretty creepy that the tooth fairy comes in the middle of the night and steals my tooth!" I shake my head in agreement. My husband is stifling his laughter because really he is just a giant 10 year old,plus it was pretty freaking funny.She was dead serious! Me:"Well, Bella, the fairy doesn't really steal it. She takes your tooth away and leaves you some money.She buys it!" Bella: "Mommy, I don't think my teeth are for sale!"<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDdjJo5rcvAbXMdkEPPS0au5chdgBp2YUsu6cgsOkGS-hlNzSkfWkrvuvC-A0qUXeZvy3CKz0T39mogtELd9gOzJp43qcrSxEjdTM7Tn7B2tMBP_YIuTzFSuxcCeMyobYFEauMXG5oSi4/s1600/Tooth-Fairy1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="228" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDdjJo5rcvAbXMdkEPPS0au5chdgBp2YUsu6cgsOkGS-hlNzSkfWkrvuvC-A0qUXeZvy3CKz0T39mogtELd9gOzJp43qcrSxEjdTM7Tn7B2tMBP_YIuTzFSuxcCeMyobYFEauMXG5oSi4/s320/Tooth-Fairy1.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;">photo courtesy of google images</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table><br />
So the kids got a point. It is a pretty creepy idea of some little freaky tooth obsessed fairy coming into your bedroom, in the middle of the night, and stealing your discarded teeth away.Who does my Bella think is coming? The tooth fairy? Or the Chupacabra? In exchange the fairy leaves the child a little monetary token on their nightstand, like a John would do for his hooker. It's all very seedy. Perhaps, we should have given this story a little more thought. I could not in good conscience argue this point with her.I simply told her : "Bella, you don't have to give your tooth to the tooth fairy tonight.We can just hold on to it and when /if you decide to leave it for the fairy, we can do that too,OK?" Bella looks at me perplexed and then she has a eureka look on her face. Bella: "Mommy, why don't you and Daddy just give me the money and you can keep the tooth!"Uh oh, the jig is up before it even began. I back peddled and told her something about angering the tooth Gods and throwing off the natural balance of the universe or something to that effect(who can remember, I was floundering to save her childhood) and then I quickly exited the room with her innocence in tact.<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6hcQp7Ryyhc4J68KIPZgM1ol0AQqNE3XJcso0UqgDDSxjOCXI4EO8pHAhzLT1W84NK-y6wgMYiM4wbh4LkK5Jhu4H83O0o4EBP3AdjtTF3Ym_xD7glOwXIKUCUACEo9C_T642RtQdJ4w/s1600/IMG_0977.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6hcQp7Ryyhc4J68KIPZgM1ol0AQqNE3XJcso0UqgDDSxjOCXI4EO8pHAhzLT1W84NK-y6wgMYiM4wbh4LkK5Jhu4H83O0o4EBP3AdjtTF3Ym_xD7glOwXIKUCUACEo9C_T642RtQdJ4w/s320/IMG_0977.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><br />
<br />
Whew! What's next? The Easter Bunny? Fairy Godmothers? Santa Claus?Unicorns? Somebody slow down this ride, I want to get off.Where are the brakes? What do you do when your child starts questioning the fictitious people in their lives?Unknownnoreply@blogger.com15tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6027511072264313662.post-31830217995680946002010-12-01T00:20:00.003-05:002010-12-01T10:01:10.946-05:00Wordless Wednesday: This is Love<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_9uZoyBGwKCM/TPXVCqeDWVI/AAAAAAAABQg/10YEIUeODy0/s1600/74882_472525463663_703973663_5590969_6920222_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="480" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_9uZoyBGwKCM/TPXVCqeDWVI/AAAAAAAABQg/10YEIUeODy0/s640/74882_472525463663_703973663_5590969_6920222_n.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_9uZoyBGwKCM/TPXVEk9zuhI/AAAAAAAABQs/ksbJxh7sZRs/s1600/75331_472523293663_703973663_5590904_8194581_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="480" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_9uZoyBGwKCM/TPXVEk9zuhI/AAAAAAAABQs/ksbJxh7sZRs/s640/75331_472523293663_703973663_5590904_8194581_n.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6027511072264313662.post-41075346613178671642010-11-30T10:26:00.001-05:002010-11-30T10:56:21.825-05:00Nutrisystem Week 4 Update; Slow & Steady wins the race ( The VLOG)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_9uZoyBGwKCM/TM7GuWYIQbI/AAAAAAAABJ8/F5il7NTISnA/s1600/nutrisystem-logo.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_9uZoyBGwKCM/TM7GuWYIQbI/AAAAAAAABJ8/F5il7NTISnA/s1600/nutrisystem-logo.jpg" /></a></div><br />
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<span style="font-size: xx-small;">DISCLOSURE: Nutrisystem is providing their program to me free of charge in exchange for my participation in the Nutrisystem Nation Blogging Program and weekly updates. I am not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed in this post are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255</span><br />
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Sorry, the quality isn't better but I just wanted to give you all an update! You rock! Thank you for the support!I couldn't do this without all of your encouragement!Down 7.5 pounds in 28 days, YEY ME!!!! Happy Mothering!<br />
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I'm cheezy because I lost 7.5 pounds and I get to drink my coffee out of this awesome new mug! Don't you just love it? My bloggy diva narcissism shining through, once again! For some reason, I keep hearing that song "Don't you wish your Mug was hot like mine! Don't cha wish your Mug was a freak like mine?Don't cha?" I don't know if I'm giddy about the weight loss or just plain silly.What do you think?<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com18tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6027511072264313662.post-76220387045019912332010-11-29T23:34:00.000-05:002010-11-29T23:34:38.469-05:00Game of Chicken Anyone?<span style="font-size: small;">This month is closing in on me like a Mac truck racing towards my bumper, suffocating me in the process.It started with turkey and family, and now its all a blurred haze of running to and fro, shopping, the Nutcracker is any day now, schools wrapping up, I was just informed that I am to help cook ( must be homemade..wtf?Even my kids don't get homemade at this time of the year) for the teacher's breakfast next month and then I got the surprise of a summons for jury duty.I almost fell to the ground in a crumpled pool of tears and assumed the fetal position.How the hell am I to fit jury duty into an already packed schedule with no family here to help? What the fuck am I, the bionic woman? </span><span style="font-size: small;">Then there is Christmas. Is it just me or is anyone else feel like they are playing an intense game of chicken with Christmas?</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;">In past years ( back when shopping was still fun for me), I'd try and have all my shopping done before the dreaded Black Friday.I thought I was so cool, all aloof and above these crazed housewives trying to save $2 on some ridiculously priced toy du jour. Oh yeah, I was a real asshole. Then I had kids and I thought, what the hell, I'll do the Black Friday thing.I'll play the game. The Big Guy and I went and had coffee while my MIL stayed with the baby ( she was like 8 months old).Hell, she was still sleeping by the time we had returned.There was no urgency. None at all. We were going to buy her what we wanted, no matter what it cost because she was THAT fucking special ( she takes after her Mommy).We'd even go out that afternoon, with her in tow, to buy stuff ( usually for ourselves) on the good discounts.It was a blast.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;">The couple years later, we had 2 kids. Money was getting a little tighter and so we decided this Black Friday had a little more importance to our lives.We had a plan, a reconnaissance mission, if you will.The objective;split up, recover the coveted items, rendezvous and pay. Simple, right?Newspapers were bought, items circled, routes plotted. We were ready.Hurrah! Then it happened...Toys R Us!If you've never experienced TRUS on Black Friday( or as I like to call it the fifth dimension of hell) you have no idea of which I speak. Imagine if you will hundreds of weary eyed,exhausted, broken spirit, broken mind, broken body, broken pocket book mommies and daddies waiting in the rain for a couple of hours with our same mission and a little more determined. These were the marines of parents, they were not backing down and they looked CRAZY! I'm not ashamed to admit it, I was a little afraid. The doors opened and these people, grown adults with children of their own, broke free like bats out of hell into Toys R US. There were carts being rammed, people pushed up against door jams, dolls ripped from Grandmother's hands, in some cases, Grandmothers being beaten with said doll.It was my worst nightmare. The Big Guy and I said the hell with it, there is NOTHING in this joint worth risking our lives for..not even a damn Zune for $40. We backed our certainly out of our depth asses right the hell out of Toys R US,lucky to escape with all of our extremities and life. Beep, Beep, beep....new parents coming through. I'm sure I saw others, more seasoned parents, smirking at us and our defeat as they slightly released the death grip on their Baby Alive Dolls.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;">After that experience, last year we skipped it all together. We refused to even acknowledge the day existed. It was far too traumatic.The plan this year was to go out on BLACK Friday and get all my shopping done. This year, I have been a Mommy for 5 years. This year, money is tight.The year has been hard with all the traveling, tears and Daddy being away.This year, I wasn't taking any bullshit.This year, I wasn't taking any prisoners and if someone thought they were ripping anything out of my hands...they were risking their life and sadly mistaken.I had become my own worst nightmare. Then, after all the psychological psyching out and physical conditioning...my baby sitter crapped out on me!WHAT?</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;">So, here I am. I've missed out on Black Friday, Cyber Monday holds no real enticement for me, and the month is packed full of responsibilities and appointments.Wonder if my girls would go for just getting a shit load of love under the tree..THAT I can provide.They get that every day.Too bad I can't wrap up hugs, kisses, cuddles, sleepy smiles, children's laughter, long lingering hugs,quiet moments, and priceless little voices lifted up in song. That's all I want for Christmas..and maybe some alone time with my Big Guy. For now, back to my game of chicken between me and Christmas.Who's going to swerve first..not me!Christmas, you will be my bitch!Well, if you call being my bitch, me shopping online until the wee hours of the night.But what about this jury duty business? Well, I'm not above crying and they would be real tears!</span> What's your worst Christmas shopping experience?Unknownnoreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6027511072264313662.post-90257061993438252662010-11-29T09:33:00.000-05:002010-11-29T09:32:05.764-05:00Nine Glorious DaysIt's been a glorious nine days but, as all good things, the Big Guy had to return to our regularly scheduled life; him living some place else, me left behind to tend to our life here. When he is gone, all week long, I have become accustomed to it. Neither of us like it, but both of us accept it. It is our status quo.But nine fabulous days ago, on a Friday in November, the Big Guy came home and surprised me with the news that he would be lingering at home with us for nine glorious days. This was certainly <strike>good</strike> great news.<br />
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You don't feel the full effect of how much you actually miss someone, until you allow yourself to admit it to ...yourself. That's what I did. That's where I've been, soaking in every single, last moment that we were gifted with together these last few days. Seeing my girls happy and smiling in the security of knowing that when they awoke the following day, Daddy would be there to hug and kiss them, to drive Bella to school, to hold Gabi's hand as they walked back to the car, to look across the table at lunch time and see his robust smile and hear his hearty laugh at the most inappropriate times. That is the good stuff. Those are the moments that we all take for granted. To have my husband there to help put the girls to bed, to cuddle and spoon with on the couch while watching really bad television, to linger in one another's arms in the morning as the girls happily scurried from room to room singing some made up song to wake us up on a Saturday morning.To be able to cook together, to enjoy one another's company, to watch him sit with our girls in the dark media room and hold them close as they watch Christmas movies together, to see all three of them bask in the happiness that only daddy/daughter time together can bring.To know that tomorrow would come and he would be able to remain. To be peaceful without the impending doom of departure looming over head is a luxury that we took granted for so long but not now. Now, every single moment together is a gift.<br />
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The nine days were amazing for us, to most, they would be considered ordinary. For our family, they were extraordinary. We have not had nine consecutive days together in the same residence since this past February. It has been hard, on all of us. I never realized that just his physical presence makes such a difference to all of us.It brings us comfort, security, and love.He is our touchstone. He is my rock. He is their Daddy, which is the most important person in a little girl's life.<br />
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I never considered before that a husband who works long hours and is only seen for a few minutes in the morning as he kisses you goodbye or a couple hours at night before you go to sleep could have such an impact. In the past, I may have felt like I was doing everything and perhaps sometimes he could have helped me out a little more but at the end of the day, he was there. If I needed someone to run an errand, or I was sick and needed to linger in bed for a few extra minutes, or one of the kids needed wiping, or I needed someone to pick up dinner, take out the trash, listen at the end of the day, a warm body to cuddle up to and recharge from an energy zapping day...he was always there. Before, I may have felt like I did everything but now I actually am, and there is a BIG difference.<br />
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Tonight, our nine day dream had to end and, as I sit here typing, we are back to the cold reality that Friday can't come fast enough. The girls were teary eyed and slightly irrational, as were he and I.We had become so drunk on all the time together that the hangover will surely feel like the end of the world, at least for the next couple of days. If you are lucky enough to have the ones you love with you, give them an extra cuddle and kiss, you never know when that may not be the case. What is the hardest part for you when your Big Guy travels?How do your children react? How do you handle the anxiety that separation brings?Unknownnoreply@blogger.com17