Yesterday was day 1 of the Be a Better Parent challenge at Motherhood Uncensored. The first challenge was being present. I tried. I really did try. By the end of the day,I still found myself tuning them out...especially when all of the whining at bed time started going on. I did do pretty good the rest of the day; not perfect, but I tried. I am a work in progress and today as I am doing challenge #2, I will also be incorporating being present. How did you do? I'd love to hear.
Today's challenge, as you may have surmised from the title of today's post; Punish without anger! I think this is a hard one for all Moms because normally by the time we actually punish our children, they have been doing something repeatedly and we have hit our threshold. I am not really an advocate for spanking because I got it as a child and I really hated it. It didn't really teach me anything but to be afraid of the actual spanking . It didn't teach me a valuable life lesson, other than I don't like to be hit.So, spanking is a non issue fro me. I don't advocate for spanking. It never seems to get the result you want. My punishments for the girls usually end up being threats..mostly idle. Yeah, I know, not helpful! I take things away...play dates, t.v's, toys, events, etc. But when I hit my threshold, the deliverance of the punishment goes something like this... "(ROAR) I can't believe you just did that. (BARK) Apologize! (SNAP) Go to your room! (GROWL) No TV for a week! (RAWR!!)" Definitely, not ideal. I am sure that my verbal lashing is as awful as any spanking. ( Hangs head in shame) I hate the guilt of it and hate that I can not control my reactions. I am working on that. I was suggested the Magic 1-2-3 book ( actually I've had it collecting dust since Bella was born. I just never thought it would work). Today is the day I read that book and try something new. The roaring and frightening the children is not what I want to convey to them. I don't want the lesson to be that Mommy is a lunatic. I just want them to understand that bad behavior is not rewarded and that actions have consequences. If any of you have any great ideas for punishing without anger, please share. I would love to hear them.
Today, I take the challenge and while being physically and emotionally present to what they are saying and doing, I will also be reacting with understanding and maturity....or ,at the very least, trying to do so. Baby steps! Baby Steps. I will let you all know how the Magic 1-2-3 works out! Happy Mothering!