As I look around my house, I see tiny shoes and tiny socks scattered all about. There is a plethora of hand made gifts, drawings of my girls and myself magnetized to my over sized fridge. It makes me smile to see what my life has become. It may be hard at times to get through the day to day craziness but when little bodies fill my lap, or little hands touch my face before giving me a wet goodnight kiss, when tiny voices lift up their love to my heart..these are the moments of extreme bliss. This is the reward for all of the time spent worrying about my children, our lives, the next big thing, missing my life before my children. In perspective, there is nothing better than being the Mommy to my girls. I don't even remember my life before my girls blessed it. It seems like a faded, hazy dream that wasn't that impressive and soon forgotten. I'm not saying it wasn't good, I'm just saying it is much better with my husband and girls in it.
I have my days when it all feels overwhelming and I long for the days of me time and free time. I long for lazy Sundays squandered in bed, late night, uninterrupted talks with my husband , coming and going as I please. I do sometimes but I really think I am remembering with rose colored glasses. If I think really hard, I remember being bored a lot of the time. If I really think about it, before my husband and children, there was a hole in my life..a large, gaping, life swallowing void. That sounds so 1950's doesn't it? I don't really care if it doesn't sound cool. I care that when I really think about my life in its entirety, I am exactly where I always wanted to be. I am home. I am blessed with greatness; my cup runneth over.