Ever spy that mom who's walking through the store, looking oblivious and completely put out by her children all in the same moment? You know the one, she's dressed like one of the desperate housewives of Jersey and her child is dressed in something equally as chic . The poor kid's sporting a kind of pathetic nobody loves me, everybody hates me look? That Mom who is completely ignoring the child's existence while simultaneously berating them, that's the one! You've seen them ..at the zoo, the museums,the grocery store, church, maybe even the mirror. The ladies who like to play house but not actually live within its parameters.No cooking , cleaning, bathing, soothing sick children back to sleep..none of that. Just satisfied with the situation in theory but in fruition, they've decided to abort mission about 10 months after the fact...emotionally checking out. Make no mistake, I am not referring to women who have postpartum depression. I am speaking of women who had their children for the sole purpose of wanting to fit into a lifestyle and nothing more.When the task proved too difficult, they tried to cut their loses.
I have always thought that all Mommies loved their children unconditionally more than life itself. I think a good amount of us do. But there is an elite crowd, who I have found, that have children simply because that is what all their friends are doing; what is expected. They want to be invited to all the functions with the cool kids and so they procreate. You think I am joking, right? I have actually met people who have gone through all the effort and labor of getting themselves a baby only to use that baby as a VIP pass to all the family friendly functions in town or as nothing more than an accessory. A photo op, another reason to pat themselves on the back. They want the child for what it brings but they don't want to put any effort into the maintenance and upkeep. It is truly craziness.
Can you believe that in this day and time, there are people who would do this? Making matters worse, these are the same people who are all "get out of my house when you turn 18" and do you know why? For the same reason that the shelters are filled with cats and dogs because nothing is quite as cute as kittens and puppies...something to put into a little purse and show off to anyone who will look. I think it is beastly when its done to animals but unforgivable when its done using little human beings. A child is a gift, a trying, exhausting, drive you crazy and steal all of your sleep gift..but none the less a gift. People did this back in the day because they needed people to work their land...so they grew a farm team but they loved them. They interacted with them. In today's society, it is so easy to completely take care of your child but never have to actually interact with or engage them. We have Nanny's, Manny's, television, credit cards, boarding schools, baby sitters, camps, preschool, any and every class you can think of. If you are determined enough you can fill every single moment of your child's day and seldom have to even say hello. They can be like the good china, you only bring them out for special occasions...you know, when you need a kid to gain access to a situation.
For us parents who are full on Mommies who really want our kids, not because they match our bag and shoes but because they are our lives, its hard for us to understand why someone would only engage with their child on special occasions.Why would you not embrace the opportunity? We could not imagine our lives without our children. Our children are not our accessories, our children are the world for which we wear all else.A child is the gift and a responsibility, forever. If you are so lucky to have one, love them and cherish them as they deserve to be. You chose to bring them into the world, they did not chose to come into yours. They are not intruders, they are your guests. Once you have children, its time to put away your own childish things and become an adult.