-Truthful Mommy xoxo
Monday, April 19, 2010
A crappy day in the life of an otherwise perfect existence
The entire point of this blog is to be honest with you. Not just when my kids are adorable, sweet and hilarious but also when they are being raging lunatics, whining brats and pretty much straight up assholes. Oh, don't get me wrong, they are my world so welcome to my world! A crappy day in the life of an otherwise perfect life. Daddy's been traveling a lot for an out of town job, so I am basically single Mommying it (which sucks , by the way. I'm not cut out for it , I don't have the stomach or patience for it.) It's basically been a 'No' fest, with lots of 'I don't want to's', refusals to sleep, eat, basically to adhere to any and all rules I may have. To make things worse, my 2 year old has developed quite the knack for incessant whining and sporadic screaming outbursts.... for absolutely no reason at all. As you all already know, there is no rationalizing with a 2 year old. So, Ive found myself doing a lot of threatening. Threatening that I was calling the cops to come take her away ( he can come take me away.... Please come take someone away). Threatening to send her to her Grandma's, child services.... You get the picture? I've become a really shitty mom( at least that's the way I feel..no I am pretty sure I have been a pretty shitty Mommy) saying things I don't mean, trying to get her to stop this behavior without physically beating her tiny little tush. I don't spank because I'm afraid that with my temper I couldn't stop. Plus I got spanked and I didn't like it. It hurt, it was scary, and it sucked.... but I did behave. So yesterday , I went off the deep end and yelled. I yelled so loud, it reminded me of when a lion roars. And then, I cried and apologized because it was such a shitty thing to do to someone so little who I love so much! I cried, then she cried, then her sister cried...I think we were all tired and emotional because Sunday's are the days Daddy leaves back out of town. I'm not making excuses for my shitty behavior, I am repenting. I am sharing because I know I am not the only Mommy who has fell off the deep end and landed in a pile of emotional wreckage. Today's a new day, things are better. I'm really employing the positive reinforcement. I wonder, how many stars do I get for keeping my cool and not crying? Happy Mothering.
-Truthful Mommy xoxo
-Truthful Mommy xoxo
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Good for you. We live in a society where we are supposed to present ourselves as if we never lose it with our kids. Truth is, we are all only capable of handling so much, and when things get overwhelming EVERY mother acts in ways in which she is not proud sometimes. I've been there. You are a better mom because you are able to recognize these tough times. Again, good for you, and thank you. It was refreshing to read!
ReplyDeleteI've been there, I know! And you know what? It's not the worst thing for your kids to see you lose your cool. If you talk to them about it afterwards, then they get to see that even mommy is not always in control of her emotions, and makes mistakes - none of us are perfect. And I give you 37 stars for today.
ReplyDeleteThis is why I love your blog. I like knowing someone is right there in the trenches and living to tell about it. Hang in there hun.
ReplyDeleteI think it's great that you write about EVERYTHING!!! Because we have all felt the same way and it sucks when people judge!! My daughter can be a complete AssHole sometimes and thats actually what I refer to her as...but I can because I MADE HER!!!
ReplyDeleteHopefully this week will be better!!! And it's healthy to have a good cry every once in a while!
Thanks ladies for the support! Its hard to tell the world that I'm not perfect but really, are any of us? I feel much better knowing that I am human.
ReplyDelete@ Peryl, you are right..my girls need to know that its ok to lose it every once in a while. I don't want to hide it and set an impossible standard.
I feel better getting it off of my chest and taking a step back and analyzing my bad behaviour. It has shown me the error of my ways:)
I could hug you right now.
ReplyDeleteI was just sitting here browsing some blogs because I can't sleep. I can't sleep because today I had a day similar to yours. My reaction was similar to yours. And I even just wrote about it. Thank you, thank you, thank you for letting me know that I am not alone.