Mommy Truisms:Too Blessed to be Stressed Holiday Edition

It's a special time of year for us Mommies and so I thought I should share a special set of Mommy truisms. Hope this adds to your holiday enjoyment! Merry Christmas!

• If your half asleep child wakes up in the middle of the night and you are caught red-handed wrapping "Santa" gifts, its better to gently walk said half asleep kid back to bed versus assuming they saw anything and telling them "Now that you know there's no Santa....".Believe me you can't unring that bell.

• If you decide to make the elf on the shelf a part of your family tradition and tell your kids that the elves have magical powers of teleportation, its best not to get caught red-handed removing the elf from your luggage at the in laws house. Again, it's mighty hard to explain your way out of that mess.

• Speaking of explaining your way out of a mess, if you accidentally use a term that you don't want your kids to know anything about, do NOT try to make up an explanation on the fly.It will end badly. For example, telling your kid that the "Boogie Monster is like the Cookie Monster but sucks the boogies out of sleeping children's noses" does not a situation better make.Just shut your mouth and pretend you said nothing.

• When your littles are bugging the ever loving crap out of you wanting to make Christmas crafts, Christmas Cookies, or sing Christmas songs and you are running yourself crazy trying to make it the best Christmas ever..stop, take a deep breath and remember what its all for and about.It can't be perfect if you are annoyed with the very little people that you are trying to make it perfect for. Forget about the to do list and give those littles a little Christmas....NOW!

• Don't drive yourself insane searching for the perfect gift.Don't do it. For the little ones it will change on a daily basis.Use your best judgment and give with your heart.Christmas morning is about smiles and togetherness.If you are there in the moment with them and the love is flowing,it will be the best Christmas ever.

•  If you don't heed the previous warning, as I may or may not have in the past, you may find yourself crying at the end of Christmas morning because the Fancy Nancy book that you ordered special, the easel from France, or the freaking $100 chair you bought them (that you KNEW was going to be perfect) is met with a "why the hell did she buy me this" look.

• Christmas, like life, is what you make of it. It's not about how much money or how many gifts you give.It's about the passion with which you celebrate. Do you want your littles to think the season is about money and material things or about the spirit of love, a sacred religious celebration, and spending time with those you love? Remember, we are teaching them what it's all about.

• Don't assume every gift your little one wants comes from a store.Sometimes the most meaningful gift a parent can give their child is attention, a warm cuddle, a nose kiss, time together, lap snuggles, bed time stories, and REALLY listening to what your littles are actually saying. The smile these things bring is genuine and worth everything.

• When you are buried up to your eyeballs in snow and and it looks like you are living in a snow globe, and the kids keep begging to go outside, sometimes the best thing you can do is throw on all your layers, go outside and have a snowball fight for 15 minutes. These are the moments that memories are made of, why make the memory be of you saying no.Make the memory be, my Mommy was so cool she stopped the world and played with me in the snow.

• Christmas eve may be about traditions and Santa but Christmas morning is about presents and a big breakfast.

• Stress and worry are the only Mommy emotions less valuable than guilt. Don't do it!

• When all else fails, coffee and wine will get you through the holidays!

Happy Holidays to each and every one of you. I hope that you have a wonderfully fabulous day basking in the glow of your families love. Kiss those littles, tell your Big Guy how much he means to you, and know that you are a great Mommy and wife.Merry Christmas, my friends.

This song is Christmas to me. 

Wordless Wednesday: This is Love

Nine Glorious Days

It's been a glorious nine days but, as all good things, the Big Guy had to return to our regularly scheduled life; him living some place else, me left behind to tend to our life here. When he is gone, all week long,  I have become accustomed to it. Neither of us like it, but both of us accept it. It is our status quo.But nine fabulous days ago, on a Friday in November, the Big Guy came home and surprised me with the news that he would be lingering at home with us for nine glorious days. This was certainly good great news.

You don't feel the full effect of how much you actually miss someone, until you allow yourself to admit it to ...yourself. That's what I did. That's where I've been, soaking in every single, last moment that we were gifted with together these last few days. Seeing my girls happy and smiling in the security of knowing that when they awoke the following day, Daddy would be there to hug and kiss them, to drive Bella to school, to hold Gabi's hand as they walked back to the car, to look across the table at lunch time and see his robust smile and hear his hearty laugh at the most inappropriate times. That is the good stuff. Those are the moments that we all take for granted. To have my husband there to help put the girls to bed, to cuddle and spoon with on the couch while watching really bad television, to linger in one another's arms in the morning as the girls happily scurried from room to room singing some made up song to wake us up on a Saturday morning.To be able to cook together, to enjoy one another's company, to watch him sit with our girls in the dark media room and hold them close as they watch Christmas movies together, to see all three of them bask in the happiness that only daddy/daughter time together can bring.To know that tomorrow would come and he would be able to remain. To be peaceful without the impending doom of departure looming over head is a luxury that we took granted for so long but not now. Now, every single moment together is a gift.

The nine days were amazing for us, to most, they would be considered ordinary. For our family, they were extraordinary. We have not had nine consecutive days together in the same residence since this past February. It has been hard, on all of us. I never realized that just his physical presence makes such a difference to all of us.It brings us comfort, security, and love.He is our touchstone. He is my rock. He is their Daddy, which is the most important person in a little girl's life.

I never considered before that a husband who works long hours and is only seen for a few minutes in the morning as he kisses you goodbye or a couple hours at night before you go to sleep could have such an impact. In the past, I may have felt like I was doing everything and perhaps sometimes he could have helped me out a little more but at the end of the day, he was there. If I needed someone to run an errand, or I was sick and needed to linger in bed for a few extra minutes, or one of the kids needed wiping, or I needed someone to pick up dinner, take out the trash, listen at the end of the day, a warm body to cuddle up to and recharge from an energy zapping day...he was always there. Before, I may have felt like I did everything but now I actually am, and there is a BIG difference.

Tonight, our nine day dream had to end and, as I sit here typing, we are back to the cold reality that Friday can't come fast enough. The girls were teary eyed and slightly irrational, as were he and I.We had become so drunk on all the time together that the hangover will surely feel like the end of the world, at least for the next couple of days. If you are lucky enough to have the ones you love with you,  give them an extra cuddle and kiss, you never know when that may not be the case. What is the hardest part for you when your Big Guy travels?How do your children react? How do you handle the anxiety that separation brings?

Friday Morning Happiness

It's Friday and I just don't feel like Fawk You's. I'm having a happy Friday and so I want to take a moment to bask in the great things happening to me, right now:) (As evidence I don't always..just bitch:)LOL

She's wearing the crazy cowgirl hat because it was CRAZY hat day @ school.Halloween party was yesterday.

My Bella lost her first tooth last night in the middle of the night. I was awaken by a little face pressed to mine, whispering,"Mommy, my tooth fell out!Yippee!" She is so excited, she says it makes her a "real" kindergartner!I'm a little sad about it but I am really happy that she is so excited.Now, to figure out what the tooth fairy will be leaving and I gotta get on that tooth fairy pillow!STAT!

I know I am biased but this kid rocks my socks off!

An unsuspecting moment of joy appeared this morning, on the way back from kindergarten drop off, Bruno Mars' Just the way you are came on the radio and it is one of my favorites because of what it represents. I sing it to my girls all the time. This morning, from the back seat I hear a little voice lifting up.I peak in my rear view and there is my 3 year old singing it at the top of her lungs and my heart swooned.Girl you're amazing..just the way you are!!

Next, I am ecstatic for my Big Guy to come home! I look forward to Fridays like most people look forward to Christmas and so do my girls. The Big Guy is a wonderful father and husband. He is a very hands on parent and if I need a nap or a couple hours to myself, he knows before I even  need to ask and tells me to go do it. He really does complete me.I absolutely love me some Big Guy!

We are also really ecstatic about the fact that my wonderful brother in law has popped the question to his gorgeous girlfriend.We couldn't be happier.I can't wait to have another sister and my girls are over the moon to have "the Great" be their auntie! We love you both and we are wishing you a long life of happiness together!

J.dot.A.dot, this song is for you...We're so happy that You found her!

Next, I want to wish a very happiest of birthdays to my baby sister, Bekiluki (her Papi appointed nickname  from our childhood.We all have them:). Girl, this is going to be the year big things happen for you. I feel it in my bones. Remember, Monday, November 1st is the first day of the rest of our lives.We pinky promised!I'll be right there to hold your hand little sister, always! You can do anything you want to in this life.You deserve happiness! Go get your happiness!! Love you!

Bertie this is for you.Listen to the lyrics and know that  you are amazing and I am always here for you,little sister.There is a light in your eyes....

 

 Last but not least, Happy Friday, everyone! This song makes me happy spontaneously,hope it can brighten yours, as well.

 Happy Halloween from the Truthful Mommy household!

Wordless Wednesday; My Birthday

To A Night we'll never forget

I'm sure you all are on pins and needles wondering just how my birthday celebration went, so I'm going to tell you..the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the TRUTH!

The day started off in a bit of a hectic haze. We were trying to get the house in some kind of order before the grandparents showed up for babysitting duty. God Bless 'em! Without these two beautiful souls, the birthday celebration would not have been even remotely possible.
After frantic running around like chickens with our heads chopped off, finally we were dressed, packed and ready to hit the road.Bella decided that at the point that I  was walking out the door would be a fabulous time to cue the tears. Nothing like a raging case of Mommy guilt to start the journey off with. I was determined. I had tickets to the 3 pm production of Romeo and Juliet ( I will elaborate on that in an upcoming post) and I had to go. So, I gave the girls one last hug and kiss and left them for the first time ever overnight.

It was a long night, so I will just post a quick synopsis of the entire night. After the show, we hit the hotel for a quick change into our night in the city outfits. Mine consisted of a black and white dress, 5 inch heels and an application of my nighttime makeup.It really is a miracle what a difference a little bit of time and effort can make in your appearance and your self confidence.

This is me and my little sister sometime after dinner and a couple cocktails.

We had dinner at the fabulous Japonaise downtown. Where we all consumed obscene amounts of sushi, martinis, wine and saki. There was never a lull in the conversation. I was so content sitting in the corner surrounded by some of the people I love the most in the world, my sister and brother in law, my brother in law and his beautiful girlfriend, and my best friend/sister and her amazing husband and last but certainly not least, the love of my life, the Big Guy! As you can see from the picture above, I could not stop smiling all night long. I didn't even care that I was turning 30 ( for the 8th time). I was in the moment and drinking it all in.

Dinner was followed by dancing at a Latin themed bar. By this time, we are all feeling pretty good. So good, in fact, that my feet were not even bothering me from wearing the 5 inch hooker heels for 5 hours at that point which I found to be a bit peculiar. I went with it. It felt amazing for 1 night to be looked at like I was a woman having a birthday, not a Mommy taxing children to and fro. Of course, you can take the Mommy out of the house but you can't take the Mommy out of the woman. This became painfully aware while the girls and I were shaking our asses on the dance floor. There were 2 girls, probably about 21, dancing behind me and they kept bumping into me. At first, I ignored it. Then I couldn't take it anymore. And what was my reaction? Imagine if you will, me 5'7" ( without heels on) wearing those 5 inch hooker heels..towering above these girls at a whopping 6 foot tall. They were maybe 5'1". I swiftly turn around, after being knocked almost off my feet for the 10th time..I bend down, pointing my finger and said, "Hey! You girls have got to stop this. You are going to knock someone down!" They said ,"OK, we're sorry." They looked completely shocked and that's when I realized...I just scolded them on the dance floor. You know, like I would do a 3 and 5 year old. They stopped bumping into me, but they were giggling..probably because they thought I was crazy! Funny how if I would have been their age, I would have turned around and said "Look Bitch, stop bumping into me or I'm going to beat your ass!" Funny how being a mother changes you in the most unexpected ways. That and the fact that I'm pretty sure I would have fallen and killed myself had I gotten into a tussle in those shoes:)LOL

The night started to wind down, by this point the top of my foot had been hyper-extended due to an inordinate amount of time in the hooker heels ( which I absolutely adore by the way and will wear at any chance possible) but obviously my foot was remembering that I was not 21 anymore. We were down to 4 troopers left. I was savoring every single moment of this night. Then it happened, you know that moment when you lose all of your good senses and you do that one last stupid thing. Well, I decided to cap off the evening, we all needed two last shots; 1 of tequila and a lemon drop. Talk about buyers remorse! So, we toast to my birthday and we head to the dance floor. Almost immediately, I realized the shots may have been too much. I felt discombobulated, people were moving in slow motion. Then the next thing I remember was standing in the rain, barefooted waiting as my brother in law tried desperately to hail a cab at around 2 in the morning.Flash forward, I remember hugging on to the toilet for dear life. Yes, very mature behavior for someone of my age. Right? The next thing I can logically recollect was waking up, feeling like I had eaten a bowl of cotton, and had a splitting headache.

I decided that I needed to try and get mobile as we had a drive home and checkout was noon. I sucked it up and headed for a shower, after making a pit stop at my best friend the toilet and puking up what can only be classified as pea green bile, I finally got in the shower to wash away the sins of the previous night. I was feeling a little better..refreshed. Then it happened, as I was brushing my teeth...I noticed something looked out of place. Remember in the Hangover when they wake up the next morning and the one guy is missing his tooth? Well, I wasn't missing a tooth! But I do have a mysterious black eye! After much piecing together of the last hours of the night,the Big Guy and I came to the conclusion that while I was hugging the toilet, I must have began to doze and slipped and hit my head on the toilet rim. Classy, right? Probably explains some of the headache, as well.Thank God its just on the outside rim of my eye, so it looks like I have eye make up on.Imagine trying to explain that one at kindergarten pick up at the catholic school. There you have it, the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the unabridged absolutely embarrassing truth. But what a night it was...to a night we'll never forget! Or is it remember?

Stu: "Why can't we remember a godd*** thing from last night?"

Phil: "Because we obviously had a great f***ing time."

The House that Built Me

I'm feeling a little nostalgic for my home and my parents. Who knows maybe it has something to do with my girls and all these firsts for them of late, the letting go and moving on a letting go some more, maybe it has to do with the loneliness and upheaval of my husband being 300 miles away on a daily basis, or maybe the fact that my Mom has been ill and I have been worried about her health...missing my Mommy. They say love makes a house a home and that home is where the heart is. I believe that. I grew up in a small house with 6 brothers and sisters, but we loved each other. It may not have been much to look at  but it was home. It is where I grew from a child to a woman. It is where I watched my sisters become my best friends and my brothers grow into men. It was where my Mom cooked and filled the house with warm breakfasts each day before walking us to school. It's the place where my dad played games with us. It is the house where my husband asked my Dad for my hand in marriage.It's where I first met my nephew/Godson. It's where I learned that my Grandmother had passed away. It's the warmth that enveloped me as I was pregnant with my first on Christmas eve of 2004. It's the place that was always filled with laughter , love and family. It was the place where my heart got broken the very first time.It's the place where I made my first friend ever.It's were my Mom could fix any heartache or disappointment with one of her special grilled cheese sandwiches.It's where I learned how to drive, when I was 13.  It's where the 15 ear old me looked out my back window to see my first boy friend.It's where I learned that Daddies can make nightmares go away and Mommies can cure boo boos with a single kiss. It's where I got into my first and only fight protecting a friends honor. It's the yard where I received my first hand hold and kiss. It's the place where countless birthdays and holidays were celebrated.It's the place I look forward to going and sitting on the porch with my parents, my brothers,sisters,nieces ,nephews,and my own children and having long chats as the birds sing amidst our urban home. A home is not the boards and mortar that compose it, it is the people and love that fill it! The home I grew up in is warm and comforting because of the wonderful family and friends that I have been blessed to share it with.

I love these people more than words can do justice. Just know, Mommy, Daddy, Carlos, Melissa, Bertha, Jose, Obie,Wayne, Bella, Gabs, Alex, Briana,Dominic, Luca, Jodie, Brian, Michael, Mikey, Carol, Dennis, Jeff, Uncle Wayne, Uncle Ramon, Uncle Narciso,Nikki, Nicole,Sarah, Jennifer you build me; You've lift me up and make me who I am. Thank you.

Life is GOOD

I sit here on this gorgeous Sunday summer morning, on my deck lounging as my girls play in their splash pool. I am surrounded by giggles as hues of bright white, sky blue and the warmth of the bright yellow sun dance all around me and to make it even more special my beautiful husband is in the same zip code with us.  As I am writing this post down, I think to myself "MY LIFE IS GOOD!"
Today is such a relaxing day. It is quite a contrast to yesterday that was spent in a mad dash rushing from one place to the next. We sped around Navy Pier trying to take in ..everything. It was the first trip to the Pier for my girls and I wanted to make every moment count. The girls oohed and aahed at the boats in the lake, the stared in awe at the giant Ferris wheel and the hot air balloon looming overhead the crowd, as they chomped on their rock candy suckers that Daddy had purchased them. I do,however, think they were sufficiently terrified by the Chicago seagulls that were dive bomb attacking us in the sweltering heat. Nothing like 100 degree weather and the fear of bird shit to get your kids moving in a hasty manner. Our trip to the Pier was cut short by the heat but as always sometimes life's most expected happiness comes when you are least expecting it.

We decided to head to my sister's home to spend the day with her and her beautiful family. My girls were ecstatic to spend the day with their little cousin, my adorable Godson. Gabs especially loves it because she feels like she gets to be the "big sister" when he's around. Its so adorable how she coddles and guides him, ever the protective maternal force:) (thank God he doesn't mind..for now).

I was looking forward to spending some quality time chatting with my own "little " sister. These moments seem to be so few and far between these days with us living in different areas and having families of our own. The big guy, he looks forward to spending "man" time with my Brother in law; sampling exotic beers, driving fast cars and swapping tall tales..(yeah, just like Pecos BILL:) And all of us look forward to eating the glorious Serbian/Romanian feast my sister's Mother in law prepares for us with love and enthusiasm (seriously, that woman has a gift when it comes to cooking and baking).
What started out as a day full of sights to see turned into a day of making wonderful family memories. It was wonderful sitting around the splash pool at my sister's house, enjoying one another's company and the, seldom had these days, face to face conversation while our children embraced their time together.

My sister and I shared memories of our own childhood and acted as our childrens very own paparazzi. There is something magical about being able to speak to someone who has known you your whole entire life and knows every single thought and word you may have before you even open your mouth. It may have not seemed like anything special to the general onlooker but the day with my little sister was priceless. We are no longer little girls, we will always be sisters but we choose to be friends; and my sisters' friendships mean more to me than they will ever know.

But as all good things must, our day had to come to an end. There were overtired tears from the children who absolutely did not want to part. The dull feeling of melancholy that accompanies every goodbye between loved ones began to slowly creep into the room. As we kissed and hugged and kissed and hugged once more, we made our usual tentative plans to see each other again soon ( this happens so often between  family members and friends living out of town) and we believe with all of our hearts that this time will be different. The drive wasn't that bad, the day was so great,and  so on and so forth.
All the way home, I assured myself that "this" time our promise and plans were different, this time things will be different (reminiscent of every diet I have ever failed).Unfortunately, more than likely, life will get in the way of our plans and more time will end up passing than either of us had intended. But yesterday, life was good! Love you lil Sis!

So Happy Together

Lazy Sunday Morning at the movies. I guess Saturday mass has its privileges:)

MIne, Mine....all mine!

My daughters have a lot of things. Lots of clothes, toys, gizmos  and gadgets. Between their Father and I trying to provide them with all that they want, myself not being able to pass up cute matching outfits, and Grandparents spoiling them rotten..well, they have acquired a lot of really cute shit in their short time with us.
I have problems parting with some it for several reasons. These are some of the ways I rationalize hoarding all this stuff; I may have another one (probably not but just in case), they wore that on this day and it was so special,  Great Grandma so and so gave that to them from the old country, I will never find that again and the minute I part with it I'll need it, it was mine when I was little, the person who gave it to them loves them so much I don't want to hurt their feelings by getting rid of it. All of these reasons and a few more keep my house chalked full of kids crap. It looks like Babys R Us and Toys R Us had a baby and it lives at my house. Now, I did try and part with some( not much)  of it last year in our neighborhood garage sale. Of course, I wanted to beat the people over the head with a hammer who had the audacity to try to haggle the already low prices of my children's baby years. Didn't they realize the bargain they were getting ? And how many hours I had labored over the decision to part with any of it? Heartless bastards! But I did it. Now, there are things I refuse to part with because I want to pass down to their children or I will make a part of the quilt that I swear I will make both of them with special baby clothes that I hold the dearest, despite the fact that I have absolutely no idea how to quilt. On these items, my mind is made up.
The annual garage sale is coming up and my MIL has been all up my ass probing to ask : "Have you got all your stuff around?" Me: (in my mind) "NO!! Who said I was parting with one more stitch of my childrens past??? Heartless bitch!!" Then there is my Mom, who I adore , but if she says one more time " WOW! I can't believe all of the stuff your sister is going to get when she has a little girl (implying somehow that I am required to just hand over all of my girls' stuff). Oh yeah, and my sister says the same thing. Might I add, she is not even pregnant nor is she in any stage of getting pregnant..she's just calling dibs!
Seriously, why do they think this? They didn't buy it for me in the first place, what the hell makes them think I am obliged to give it to them? Secondly, who made this rule that just because I have it, I gotta give it to them? It's like they think after I have already invested all the time and money, to make sure everything was just so fro my girls, I should just make it easy on them and hand it all over. I know I sound crazy but this is a sore spot for me. It would be like me walking into my Mom's house and saying, "Wow! When you bite it, I'm gonna be one lucky bitch!" WTF??? Call me crazy, but when the hell did everyone else get the right to tell me when and how to dispose of my babies memories? I may just hold on to all this shit until my girls have their own children. I may have to add a second floor to store it all but that's my prerogative. And I swear to God, if one more person gives me the "WOW! So and so is going to be so lucky to get all your shit", I may just punch them square in their throat! See how easy it is to stake your claim on my stuff then!

A garden where love grows

Yesterday, did not go according to plan. But does it ever? What's the saying? The road to hell is paved with what??? Oh yeah, good intentions. Hell, probably great intentions. The entire weekend was pretty awesome. If you disregard the groggy feeling that was induced by the Ambien induced sleep. And I thought I was going to awake well rested and ready to conquer the world. Ha! Then there was the freezing weather that we had to till the garden in, if we had any hope of planting this weekend. I know it was my weekend, and my idea for this lovely flower garden, so what kind of an asshole would I have been if I sat by and watched my poor husband till the garden in 40 degree weather? So, I helped. The damn tiller nearly pulled me across the yard and into my neighbors yard, that would have been solid. I'm sure that would have gotten me thrown out of the association. There I am being drug around the garden like a rag doll as my daughters ran a muck and my husband and  I froze our collective asses off, hoping and praying the hundreds of dollars we spent on flowers was not for naught, since there was a frost advisory..in MAY!!! What? Did this frosty bitch come in just to spite me and eff up my Mothers Day? Seriously! Once all was said and done, my husband and I were too sore to cuddle or have any "romantic" time together. That was Saturday. Then Sunday, the Mother of all days, I woke up late, I woke up grouchy, I woke up sore, I didn't make it to mass, spent the day trying to get the flowers into the garden while my poor husband kept trying to shoo me inside so I could rest. I couldn't rest when there was so much to be done and I surely am not the type to sit around and sit on my ass as he is working like a horse in the garden. Poor guy! The girls were under foot trying to help, slowing the process down even further. God bless 'em they were trying. After all was said and done, I have a beautiful flower garden.We ended the day with a deviation from our usual fancy gourmet meal my husband usually prepares. Instead, we had lovely burgers on the grill, grilled potatoes and corn on the cobb ending the meal with strawberry shortcakes. It may have not been the gourmet meal originally planned, but after a hard day of work it sure hit the spot. In the end, this weekend reminded me that it is not what you do (or don't do) on Mother's Day , it's who you spend it with! I was blessed enough to spend mine working my ass off in my garden with my beautiful family. If the amount of love put into this garden is any indication of how beautiful it will be, I will soon be tending the most gorgeous garden in the city. In my garden of life, a plethora of love surely blooms!

This is LOVE