I've been tagged by Naomi from Organic Motherhood with Coolwhip to describe my perfect man. To be honest, I am happily married to the Big Guy for 11 years now and the idea of being single again is one that is so far removed from my brain that I'm pretty sure that I've forgotten how to do/be it at all. Not to mention, I'd probably rip my hair out going through that process again.I was young the first time.I was hot. It was easy:)However, before I was married to my Big sexy, world traveling, soul mate of mine I had much different criteria.I think hot, a pulse, and a bad attitude were the only requirements. Let's leave it at the fact that I kissed more than my fair share of big, nasty, wart ridden, bad attitude having toads before finding my prince.
And so, without further ado, I will give you my list of qualifications for the perfect man. Obviously, the position is currently and permanently filled, but I do have two sisters and a plethora of female family and friends who would love a man who meets these criteria.
1. Must live in the same zip code.Long distance and traveling can no longer be tolerated on any level. I have had my fill.
2. Must love me unconditionally and blindly.I understand that there are other women out there, but you must never acknowledge their existence in my presence.
3. Must be willing to listen to my narcissistic and incessant ramblings about my blog, why my children are geniuses, how I am always right.Must be able to tolerate my acute case of verbal diarrhea that I have developed as a result of having children and being a SAHM. I am serious, you will be hit with a barrage of words upon your arrival..every day.
4. Must be ready and willing to please me at any moment, as my time is very valuable and you can only get in when I can fit you in.Must also be willing to not get offended if I am too exhausted to reciprocate:)
5. Must be willing to inform me when 'Pedro' is making an appearance, so that I can wax, as I am too busy to notice such things as facial hair because of the hecticness that is my life, plus all mirrors in my house are smudged with tiny hand prints.
6. Must know how to cook,bake birthday cakes, take out garbage, drive a riding mower,do laundry fold laundry,put away laundry, change the toilet paper roll and pick up your socks.
7. Must think I am a sex goddess even when I am being a raging hormonal bitch, am gestating a giant fruit of your loins, or have doubled in size due to water retention.
8. Must be willing to simultaneously film, photograph, hold my hand,look deep into my soul and tell me I am beautiful when I am giving birth.
9. Must not be afraid of a beautiful woman who has a Ricky Ricardo laugh and pees when she sneezes or laughs too hard..
10. Must be willing to laugh at life, cry with me, hold me when I am sad, and love me like you did back when we were in college....before gray hairs, love handles, breasts that fed, and child induced exhaustion set in.
11.Must be willing to take over all parenting duties the moment you walk in the house.
12.Must be adorable to look at and not make annoying sounds when breathing, sleeping, chewing, or talking.
13.Must be willing to reciprocate all that is given to you by me, emotionally, physically, and other!
14.Must like to cuddle on cold nights and go a little Prodigy Firestarter on me, when the occasion dictates.
15.Above all else, must head over heels love crazy, hot tempered, exotic, passionate, mouthy ME!
Thank God, I already found the Big Guy.I never knew I was so picky until I realized he was everything I never knew that I always wanted ( see aforementioned list). Please, tell me what your perfect man would be.Tag your it!
Showing posts with label Be A Better Me (You) Challenge-Day 13 ~ Love yourself unconditionally. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Be A Better Me (You) Challenge-Day 13 ~ Love yourself unconditionally. Show all posts
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
Monday, September 13, 2010
Be A Better Me (You) Challenge-Day 13 ~ Love yourself unconditionally
Yesterday's Be A Better Me (You) Challenge -Day 12 ~ See yourself through your child's eyes
is not always easy, especially when I feel like a hot mess or am overwhelmed by it all. But if I listen to my children, somehow in their wisdom they see the me I am on the inside. The Me that I have always been and will always be..the beautiful Mess that is me. So, today I am embracing the Me that my girls see every time they look at their Mommy, its probably very much like the best versions of them that I see every time I lay eyes on their small little perfection. Hope you are embracing the awesome you that your children know you are; because I think kids have special powers they can see the real us....even if we forget what that person looks like.
Today's Be A Better Me (You) Challenge - Day 13~ Love yourself unconditionally. It's exactly what it sounds like. We have to learn to stop putting ourselves down and comparing ourselves to some kind of unrealistic standard..that doesn't exist. We need to take yet another lesson from our kids and love ourselves the way they love us; the way we love them. No one is perfect, that is a fact. What we must strive for is to be our best selves. I have always been my hardest critic. I'm too fat. My skin is flawed.I have too many freckles. I'm not tan enough. My hair is not perfect enough. My smile is not white enough. My clothes are not right. I should be doing more with my life. I don't have a career worth mentioning. I am not a good enough daughter, sister, Mother, wife, friend. Its always something. I always feel like I fall short.You know why? Because the standard is impossible. To meet the standard, every waking would be needed to acquire the impossible dream there would be no time for real living..loving..laughing. My challenge for you is to love yourself, for who you are..not who you want to be. You deserve to be able to love yourself;no matter the size of your jeans, in spite of your imagined imperfections. You are more than you give yourself credit for. Would you not love your children because they weren't perfect? Of course you would and so should you love yourself. You can never be your best you, if you don't truly embrace the person you are now.
You are worthy of all that life has to offer. You just have to believe that yourself. That is the key to acquiring all that the world has to offer and to, more importantly, enjoying it! Now, tell me how you can make efforts to love yourself unconditionally. This will be the hardest one for me thus far. A little body dysmorphic disorder goes a long way. Please link up!
is not always easy, especially when I feel like a hot mess or am overwhelmed by it all. But if I listen to my children, somehow in their wisdom they see the me I am on the inside. The Me that I have always been and will always be..the beautiful Mess that is me. So, today I am embracing the Me that my girls see every time they look at their Mommy, its probably very much like the best versions of them that I see every time I lay eyes on their small little perfection. Hope you are embracing the awesome you that your children know you are; because I think kids have special powers they can see the real us....even if we forget what that person looks like.
Today's Be A Better Me (You) Challenge - Day 13~ Love yourself unconditionally. It's exactly what it sounds like. We have to learn to stop putting ourselves down and comparing ourselves to some kind of unrealistic standard..that doesn't exist. We need to take yet another lesson from our kids and love ourselves the way they love us; the way we love them. No one is perfect, that is a fact. What we must strive for is to be our best selves. I have always been my hardest critic. I'm too fat. My skin is flawed.I have too many freckles. I'm not tan enough. My hair is not perfect enough. My smile is not white enough. My clothes are not right. I should be doing more with my life. I don't have a career worth mentioning. I am not a good enough daughter, sister, Mother, wife, friend. Its always something. I always feel like I fall short.You know why? Because the standard is impossible. To meet the standard, every waking would be needed to acquire the impossible dream there would be no time for real living..loving..laughing. My challenge for you is to love yourself, for who you are..not who you want to be. You deserve to be able to love yourself;no matter the size of your jeans, in spite of your imagined imperfections. You are more than you give yourself credit for. Would you not love your children because they weren't perfect? Of course you would and so should you love yourself. You can never be your best you, if you don't truly embrace the person you are now.
You are worthy of all that life has to offer. You just have to believe that yourself. That is the key to acquiring all that the world has to offer and to, more importantly, enjoying it! Now, tell me how you can make efforts to love yourself unconditionally. This will be the hardest one for me thus far. A little body dysmorphic disorder goes a long way. Please link up!
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