Thursday, November 4, 2010

Sick Daddy Walking

Sick Daddy Walking.Really does that even exist? Seriously, when I get sick the world keeps on moving on.Asses need wiped, BooBoos kissed, Dinner made. Lunches packed, Laundry folded.Children chauffeured, dressed, bathed, coddled and loved. The show must go on.(PERIOD)

But when the Big Guy, or any man for that matter, is sick,the world comes to a screeching halt.Full on, falls to the ground, assumes the fetal position and can NOT move.Sniffles are sure to be whooping cough. Diarrhea must be cholera or dysentery. A fever, oh shit,he's pretty sure its the bubonic plague.Vomiting must be fatal food poisoning.No matter the ailment,the end result is the same. They are dying and you must sit by their bedside and nurse their body while stroking their, (ehem) ego!

My husband and I have had the exact same virus, simultaneously and I had to get up and take care of the kids as he whimpered from the other bedroom ( because apparently when he's sick he needs to be alone in another room to get his rest...really,novel idea. Can I borrow it sometime?I need some sleep too!)"What do you want me to do ( cough ,cough)?You shouldn't have to do it all by yourself,( cough, sneeze, sniffle..repeat)but if you're getting up,I think Gabs needs to be wiped!" Commence eye rolling on my part.





Have I told you about the time I had the stomach flu so badly that I vomited for 9 hours straight,every half hour on the half hour? Well, I did and guess what happened on the 9th hour?I finally felt well enough to walk to the kitchen to get a glass of water for my dehydrated self ( it was about midnight)when my then 4 year old walks out of her bedroom, we meet in the hallway, and she proceeds to say "Mommy, I don't feel so...BLEH>>>>" all over my feet.As I was cleaning her up and trying to clean up the hallway and ...my feet, the Big Guy walks out, only to say, "You Ok?" I say yes (yes, in the vomit was not acid like and had not burned off any of my skin or limbs. But not yes as in, I'm OK, life is dandy with vomit on my toes)and try to explain what had happened...to his back as he was headed back to bed.Guess what I got to do that night, after a long day of puking? You guessed it, I got to stay up all night with a sick daughter who kept puking.What did the Big Guy get to do? SLEEP!But if the tables had been flipped, you can bet your ass that I would have had to stay up and hold the barf bucket, wipe vomit off of faces, and soothe all general ill physical pains and emotions.

Just wondering if this happens at your house too? I love my Big Guy but there is something about a man sized baby that makes me want to gouge his eyes out.I just don't understand why they get to be all baby like and get pampered and stroked and we have to soldier on. I'm not a soldier, nor have I ever been, and I don't want to soldier on.When I'm sick, I want to receive the same care and attention the Big Guy and the kids expect from me.I want to be allowed the simple luxury of lying around in my jammies, sipping hot tea, while the world soldier's on without me. For now,( cough, cough, sniff, sniff, and a trifecta of sneezes)I will soldier on!

18 comments:

  1. Oh I can relate girl. I can relate. I'm so sorry you're sick. :( I hope you feel better soon.

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  2. Oh I can totally relate, last week after I got sick on my flight and had a fever all day, Ryan slept all day (he wasn't sick though) ughh they are such babies!

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  3. Oh Ma Gawd!!!! Me tooo! I totally relate. We are storm troopers like none other. Something about becoming a mommy does that! Or even for me, it was witnessing a mommy like that! Before I had children I was already acutely aware that mommies never ever ever stop! My mommy was the best! Still is the best!

    I have a flu/pukey story that haunts me to this day! I had never b4 & still haven't been as ill as I was this one time about 13 yrs ago...,
    i had been puking ALL night long with cramps & nasuea from all orifices & when my (2at that time, 3&5) kids woke on that Saturday morn when honey was off to a yearly monster truck rally, I got up...poured them cereal & juice...puked again & headed back to bed...I then pulled myself up & started amovie after dropping bowls into sink & headed back to bed. Snacktime was on a schedule at 10 am, by 1030 I dragged my butt up once more & made them fruit & crackers & cheese platter & puked again...then lunch was due,.. Everytime I moved, rolled over, or lifted my head I thought I might die...
    12 noon rolled on by...
    1235pm...my 2 little ones stand indignantly in my doorway...hands on hips(both)..and oldest says, "Mom!!! We decided you aren't feedin us very good!!"
    Kills me still, knife to the heart!!
    Moms are NOT allowed to be sick!

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  4. My husband when he is home is the one that takes care of vomit. I cannot handle it.. When I am sick I go to bed and if the world falls apart so be it. It was hard when the 2 oldest were little, but after that the older kids could make sure no one got hurt and ate... Believe me tho .. that as soon as I could move without throwing up I got up. For some reason even if you are only sick a day.. the house looks like a tornado went thru.. even if my husband was at home.

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  5. If it makes you feel any better, my husband doesn't show it a wink when he's sick. Its still awful because I'll be like, "why didn't you do this blah blah blah." Just asking, not nagging, and he'll be like, "Remember, I'm really sick!" and all I have to go on is his word. Its infuriating.

    Also with the vomiting... We went up to our hometown and my husband went to a bachelor's party. I was at my parents' house (thank god) and my daughter threw up in the middle of the night (she was 2. She didn't really give me any warning). I thought it was a fluke so I cleaned her up and helped her back to bed. Needless to say I spent the rest of the night in bed with her. She vomited every 20 minutes for 9 hours. She would wake up, try to get out of bed, throw up in a bucket, then fall back on the pillow fast asleep. Every 20 minutes. Luckily my dad is awesome and stayed up with us. Every time he heard her vomit he came in with a clean towel, cleaned out the bucket, and checked to see if everything was ok.

    The worst part of this story? On Sunday when we were heading home, my mother-in-law kept trying to get me to eat something ("but I'm not hungry. I'm an adult. I know when I'm hungry") and I eventually just locked myself in the car because I was cranky. About 20 minutes down the road on a 7.5 hour trip, you guessed it, I started vomiting. Every 20 minutes all the way home. I thought I was going to die. The car is the worst place for a stomach bug. And the best part? It was Mother's Day.

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  6. @Theresa,
    OMG< you poor thing.I can't imagine being trapped in a car for 7.5 hours and barfing the whole time. You poor thing. And on Mother's Day no less.The stomach bug us awful.You are a better person than me, if the Big Guy was at a bachelor party and my kids was barfing every 20 minutes...you better believe I would have called him home to help.Misery enjoys company you know:)I hope after all the hell you wen through you got a really kick ass Mother's day gift,a t least.Happy Mothering!

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  7. @anonymous #2,
    You are a lucky gal. My husband is very helpful in mos ways but he's not volunteering to take care of vomit. If I was like YOU HAVE TO..he would but if I don;t he'll just assume I want to do it.I think once the kids r bigger, I will be able to be sick in peace, at least.But you are correct, if we take a day to be sick..the house will be demolished!That goes without saying:)

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  8. @ anonymous #1,
    That sounds awful. You poor thing.Nothing like adding guilt to your already half dead self.You did pretty good, if you ask me for barfing so much. I would have had to call my husband and he would have had to come home.If that was impossible, I would have called my Mom or MIL, they live a hour and 2 hours away..but desperate times call for desperate measures:)

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  9. @Mommypants,
    Assuming Ryan is your husband and not your kid, I may have had to accidentally woke him up so he could take care of me.I could not survive being so sick and watching him sleep..it might have enraged me a tad:)

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  10. Now you are going to hate me, but my husband is a total soldier when he is sick. He takes care of himself, buys his own medicine (usually before he comes home and announces he is sick) and puts himself to bed. I am a caretaker by nature so it sort of bothers me. Let me make you some soup for crying out loud! Let me do something! Also, and now you are really going to hate me, if we are sick at the same time he helps with the kids. Our MO is he usually gets up with them in the morning and then later, I let him take a nap during the day. it works out.

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  11. @Krysta,
    Lucky girl! Count yourself blessed:) He sounds amazing. It probably doesn't help that my husband is only home on the weekends, so I expect to be given a break and if he's sick..I don't get it and if I'm sick and he's not here..so sad for me:)Other than his over grown man baby syndrome when sick, the Big Guy is a pretty damn great catch.He tries to help if I'm sick and he's not but if he's sick...and I'm sick...all bets are off. Your husband sounds like a MAN when he is sick....not a MAN BABY:)Be good to him.I don't hate you...I'm jealous:)

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  12. Can I get an AMEN??? Seriously, AMEN!!!

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  13. I almost spewed coffee on my computer reading this. I seriously laughed out loud thinking, "OMG does she have a camera in my house?!?! How the hell does she know this about me!?!"

    You've made me laugh, once again. :)

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  14. At my house when I'm sick hubby babies the heck out of me and takes very good care of me. If we are both sick then the world comes to a screeching halt. BUT....once hubby sees me crawl out of bed for whatever that reason may be, his reaction is always the same. "Oh your up, you must be feeling better!" And the pampering stops.

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  15. YES!! And it is the MOST frustrating thing EVER!!! Doesn't it make you just want to slap them??!! Men are big babies. And my hubby whines for his mom the entire time. Give me a break!

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  16. OMG I make my entire family get flu shots cuz seriously I can't handle when they get sick. Everyone besides myself and the youngest totally wimp out when they're sick. One year we all came down with the flu right before my two youngest birthday bash (one of them was turning 1!!!). I had to manage taking care of them plus the giant baby (aka the hubby) all the while preparing for the party! Geez.

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  17. Oh girl!!! I am so sorry you were sick. I've been sick too and swamped with work, and yes, I've had to keep on truckin. I don't think it's fair that mommies don't get sick days. I think that was one of the biggest wake-up calls to motherhood that I had. You can no longer call in to work and say, "I'm sick," and then roll over and sleep the rest of the day. And like you said, not to mention your kids are usually sick too, and so you are not just holding it together while you are feverish and barfing, but you are cleaning barf off your feet, the walls, every blanket and pillow in the house, etc. Great post, Debi. I really hope you are feeling better soon!!

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