Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Why did I teach my girls to spell

Remember the good old days when you could spell any word that you wanted your children NOT to understand. I don't know how many times we spelled "B.A.T.H", "S.L.E.E.P", "N.A.P." "O.U.T.S.I.D.E." and every single curse word..ever! In fact the other night, my friend and I were at dinner talking and she burst out into spelling a curse word.We both chuckled because the youngest person at the table was my baby sister who is 32. But its just one more of our Mommy moments.

Unfortunately for me, my brilliant 5 year old is phonetically spelling everything now and when we spell..she figures it out. So, no more talking about how they won't be going outside, or can't drive their Barbie Escalade in 50 degree weather. No more whispered spelling about what we plan to do after the girls go to sleep. No more talking about what just transpired with the crazy mom. No, because now my child who hears absolutely nothing I have to say to her can hear everything I spell that is of absolutely no concern to her.Worse, she can understand what I am spelling and takes great unabashed joy in deciphering my Mommy code!

Damn! Why did I ever teach my kid to spell? I am fairly certain my life is going to hell in a gasoline doused hand basket, any day now. She's already heard too much. She has cracked my code but worse is she cracked it before telling me she understood. In theory, I may or may not have said something about a certain crazy mother, teacher, neighbor or family member that may get repeated at the most inopportune time.It's like I'm being held hostage by a kindergartner, without her knowledge.I can't ask her not to say anything because a) I'm not sure entirely what she has deciphered and understood and what she has not b)if I do broach the subject and ask her not to repeat any thing, what kind of an example am I setting? I'd be teaching her that its OK to be mean and ugly and then to lie to cover it up.Yeah, because that will never come back to bite me in the ass.

No thank you! I have already learned my lesson, from my Mother's flurry of "I hope you have a little girl just like you when you grow up" that has since hit me over the head and kicked me in the ass ten fold. NO, I know the bitch that karma can be and I choose not to taunt or tempt her. I will keep my mouth shut. Stop spelling in front of my big brained baby and really just try and be a better person. After all, isn't it my mouth that got me into all of this trouble and not my daughter's big brain or astute hearing skills? But I still would like to know Why did I teach my girl to spell? Next thing you know, she'll be deciphering for her little sister.Happy Mothering!

10 comments:

  1. Oh dear, we use the spelling tactic in conversations often. I don't know what we'll do with out. Guess we'll have to whisper or something. Happy Wednesday!

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  2. Yes, it is hard when they can read and spell.It's almost impossible for us to whisper being that we are both loud:( Of course,spelling was a chore. My husband had difficulty keeping up:)

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  3. @Dre,
    So funny, I speak four languages but unfortunately, PIG LATIN is not one of them:)LOL Of course, my husband only speaks 1 language and its the same as the kids:)I think he does parlais vois a lil PIG LATIN though.I may have to learn it after all:)

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  4. This post cracked me up. So sorry for your pain, though. Seriously.

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  5. Ha, ha, ha - we still try to get away with the spelling in front of the twins (3) but then our 7 year old will blurt out "ice cream". Doesn't work so well any more.

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  6. Craig and I say ALL THE TIME how much life is going to suck once Kate starts to spell.

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  7. @ RObin,
    No need to be sorry. My husband said its a relief he was having keeping up with my mad spelling skills:)LOL

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  8. @ Jodi,
    I know spelling is really ruining my life! Damn whats next, actually understanding innuendo and sarcasm?ARGH!

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  9. @Liz,
    OH, yeah and they learn so fast.Bella just started and I just know by the end of Kindergarten she's going to be some spelling be champ type..damn me and giving them my brains:) (That's what I tell myself!Since everyone says they look like my husband, the brains had to come from me!)

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Love to hear your thoughts on my truth! Please leave some love, insight , or even disagreement with mine. I believe in free thought and speech. Happy Mothering!!