Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Faster than a speeding Bullet

I've found that as a Mother, the moments that I learn the most valuable lessons are when I am not thinking at all. So sad but so true. For example, amidst all the craziness that this morning was..the girls were having a slap fight, Gabs decided to tell me : "You hate me! ME no love you!" for the infraction of not letting her wear long sleeves outside in the 90 degree weather ( I can see her point..I'm just a mean bitch), and Bella went completely deaf and ignored absolutely every single thing I asked her to do or told her not to do this morning ( again, must be me. How dare I think my girls should be held responsible for their actions!)! Stupid, naive, me...I thought it was going to be a good day, I woke up to sunshine, hot coffee, and Paramore and then hell broke lose!

But, somewhere along the way, something clicked. OH yes, I remember. I was checking my FB account and a friend of mine had posted her son's senior montage. I watched it, for no other reason than curiosity. I don't really know her son. As I was watching it, I started tearing up (just like I did at the end of Toy Story 3). Suddenly, like a ton of bricks it hit me...these tantrums and days that seem to be endless..are fleeting and passing me by at lightening speed. Before I know it, I will be watching Bella's senior montage and sending her off into the world to be her own person; left to her own devices and there will be no more daily tantrums, slap fights, screaming matches but there will also be no more random I love yous, neck ringing hugs, co sleeping, spontaneous dance parties and silly song concerts! On a day soon after that, it will be packing Gabs up for college and sending her off.
When we are waiting to meet our children, 10 months feels like forever. When they are toddlers and having tantrums, and it seems like the days will never end of changing shitty diapers, or we'll never get to be alone again; these days we wish away. But I am here to tell you, if you change your thinking and realize that those precious little hands that hold yours will soon be to large to want to do so, that the child who won't leave your side will soon rather not be seen in public with you because you are an embarrassment, and that the little girl who thinks that you are the world and annoys you to no end messing with your shoes, clothes and make up will soon want nothing to do with you. If we realize from the moment they are born, we are losing them and that with every milestone and tantrum they are one step closer to heading out the door for college, then maybe we can slow down, gain perspective and enjoy the madness; embrace the chaos, and love our children for the who they are today. I know its hard to realize this in the midst of the chaos, but take a moment and try to remember to cherish even the worst days because they are flying by and soon there will be no more chaos to cherish! Hug them, kiss them, let them play in the puddles, act silly with them, let them cook with you, don't waste their childhood wishing it away.Sometimes you've got to break some rules to make some memories. It's not about how much money you spend, how clean your house is, or what you cook for dinner. What they'll remember is how much you loved them and how much time you spent with them....make it count! Happy Mothering!

9 comments:

  1. I raise my margaritas glass to you on that! ;) Time is flying way too fast and I've been noticing it more and more each day that passes. Just one big SIGH.

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  2. Beautifully said, thanks for the reminder.

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  3. I needed to read something like this today. My one year old is driving me bonkers today. She woke up at the ass crack of dawn after a massive nap strike yesterday and all she wants to do is keep me from my coffee, but if I change my thinking it's not so bad.

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  4. This was beautiful and so true. Thank you for sharing thsi

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  5. I am teary eyed from this post and it is all too true. My daughter just turned two and the tantrums and attitude have begun and she is a handful that leaves me feeling stress and longing for peace and quiet. Thank you for the reminder that this is a quick passing phase that will be over in a blink. She will never be as dependent on me as her first couple years so I need to cherish this times and love her through the toughest times. Thanks for the reminder :)

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  6. FANTASTIC post..and so very true! I always love reading your posts...you make me laugh..(and made me a little teary eyed today too!)

    XO

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  7. Oh wow. I really needed to read this!

    The part: "that the child who won't leave your side will soon rather not be seen in public with you because you are an embarrassment, and that the little girl who thinks that you are the world and annoys you to no end messing with your shoes, clothes and make up will soon want nothing to do with you," ABSOLUTELY kicked me in the gut because I stress out about not having any ME time because the girls are always wanting me with them. But yeah, one day I'm going to want THEIR time and they'll be the ones rolling their eyes. lol.

    Thank you for the reality check.

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  8. Being a mom is the hardest thing in the world, but I wouldn't change a thing, because those little, precious moments are simply priceless. Kids just grow up too fast...

    I'm your new follower.
    http://perfectingmotherhood.wordpress.com/

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  9. Ok Deb...thanks for making me cry!!! You said that so beautifully. There are so many things that we all take for granted and it is so important to step back and make sure to somehow make memories out of all the little things because some day that's all we will have! I always say too, take as many pictures as you can. Don't wait for a "special" moment. Snap some every day!!!
    This makes me want to go get Miss Mia out of her crib and just snuggle with her!
    Loves!!! And thanks for this today!!!

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Love to hear your thoughts on my truth! Please leave some love, insight , or even disagreement with mine. I believe in free thought and speech. Happy Mothering!!