Seems like just yesterday, in fact I think it was, Gabs was saying "Me this and Me that" and now I hear the "I"s creeping in. Of course, I am proud because she is learning to talk like a big girl and use her correct pronouns. But there is something saddening about my baby turning into a little girl. It's letting go of one phase and starting another one. Much the same as I had to do a few weeks ago when Bella decided that her lovey "Fi Fi LaRUe" (the most adorable pink poodle ever) that up until then she could not sleep without..ever ( this little guy has been same day shipped when forgotten @ Grandma's. It was THAT serious!) is not so necessary anymore. Normally, at bed time, there is a mad scramble to find FiFi. It is a major event and Daddy and I know there will be hell to pay if that little poodle ever goes missing. But a few days ago, FiFi was missing at nap time and Bella was all like,"It's OK Mommy. I can live with out her for one nap." OMG! And just like that..a dagger in my heart. I could care less about what happens to FiFi. It's not about losing FiFi, its about this being a representation of losing yet another piece of Bella's childhood. On to the next phase we go.
Parenthood is a lot like a roller coaster. You know what's coming...you are excited for the thrill of a lifetime. You get on and as it climbs to the top, it feels like it is dragging on forever and the trepidation is building to almost combustible levels. Then you hit the top and away you go. You are on the ride of your life and it is over in a flash. That first year of my girls' lives, everything seemed like it was in slow motion. We were wading through blindly waiting for life to happen..first teeth, first step, first word....all kinds of firsts. Then you hit that 1 year mark,the baby's mobile and away you go. Suddenly, your whole life is on fast forward. All you want to do is hit the brakes but there's no stopping this coaster once it gains momentum. Here I am, right smack dab in the middle of the ride..holding on for dear life, having the thrill of my life. I just wish I could slow it down a bit and enjoy the scenery a little more. It's going so fast, I feel like I am missing parts of the ride and afraid its going to be over way too soon.
Quick , someone tap the brakes, Mama wants to take a